decamited dreams

2007-08-21T15:49:00.001+08:00

WE HAVE MOVED

2007-08-11T21:08:00.000+08:00

so maybe i'm three days too late but for what it's worth, happy birthday singapore. you've given me sixteen good years and i guess i owe that much to you.

sure i won't really be much help considering that i'm not planning to marry therefore not having bajillions of kids and reducing the ageing population but hey, at least i recycle. aaand i'm a law abiding citizen. consider yourself lucky.

//end of semi-patriotic speech//

yeah that's as patriotic as i can get.

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this is to a girl who got into my head

with all the pretty things she did.

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if i close my eyes and imagine hard enough, i can picture andrew singing it to me. cause, heck. i'm sure i won't live to see the day an actual person would.

andrew's wife is such a lucky bitch.

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oh and this post is the big 300th. yeah and last month was our one year anniversary but i forgot. sorry mr blog. no wonder you wouldn't talk to me for a whole week.

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okay i'm trying to come up with what to type down here but i'm drawing at a blank. not in the mood i guess. i'm not feeling like my usual charming and witty [cough cough] self.

so, sorry tauf. no proof of my inconsistent sanity today.

oh by the way, can you accompany me to make me ez link card on monday? yan and helmi have school and luke's still in KL and i need a big, strong man to protect me.

ROFLMAO.

right. if we were to ever come across danger, i know you'd be the first one to run and just leave me there. exactly like jac.

you people are useless.

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P.S: hans solo's waaay more sexier than mr luke skywalker. sticks tongue out.

2007-08-08T22:41:00.000+08:00

second chances, they don't ever matter

people never change

once a whore, you're nothing more

i'm sorry that'll never change

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okay so whatever about the ahem ahem yan. i don't CARE who said it first [though i have this sneaking suspicion that you started it] so can we please just drop it????

PFFT.

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CODY LINLEY IS SO FUCKING HOT OMG HYPERVENTILATES PLEASE.

he is so cute on hannah montana as jake ryan [a name doesn't get any cuter than that. seriously.]

miley & jake 2gether 4eva!

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le sigh. the eyes! the hair!

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so anyway, i didn't go to school just now. not on purpose though, unlike half the population of the school. i woke up late! i swear it was an accident.

darn it. i was so excited about watching the dumb concert.

tsk.

and i heard that diyanah and isa performed onstage together. i also heard there were some technical glitches during their performance. [what? even the mike knows not to let that bitch go near it]

darn it times two.

well, next year then.

oh wait. THERE IS NO NEXT YEAR.

PFFT. i basically missed my last ndp performance in ccks. and i was soo looking forward to not having to perform during the parade for the first time.

oooohhh i hope the band did okay. i know it takes time to get things back together after the seniors pass out.

god, i'm so caring aren't i?

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so i went to study at jac's condo instead of going to school. did some quite productive work. i'm so proud of myself.

couh cough.

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okay i realize i sound extremely un-witty and boring today. sorray. it's 11, i can't sleep and i am Bored.

so, obviously, QUIZ TIME.

glee.

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about guys: turned ON, OFF or DRM [doesn't really matter]

mmmmmmmm

is taller than you: ON. duh.

is shorter than you: OFF. double duh. i don't want a smurf as a boyfriend.

wears braces: ON. how CUTE are guys with braces??

has blue eyes: DRM as long as it's natural.

has hazel eyes: refer to above

drinks alchohol too much: i don't care if it's once in a while but TOO MUCH is just ew.

smokes: DRM. i don't especially like it but hell, EVERYONE smokes nowadays. right amin???

plays sports: ON. that means he's got muscles eh?

smiles a lot: i'm torn between on and off. it's nice to smile but too much and you look like a perv.

calls you just to say hi: OFF. JUST "hi". what? no "i love you"? PFFT.

compliments you: OFF. i know i'm weird. compliments just feel awkward to me. of course i don't expect him to INSULT me. just, not too much complimets.

good dancer: DRM. as long as it's not ballet i'm cool.

wears jewellery: DRM

has brown hair: DRM as long as it's natural

has black hair: ditto

has blonde hair: ditto the ditto

has red hair: ditto the ditto the ditto

makeup: EEEEEWW. ZEfron much? off off off!

can make you laugh at any given moment: ON. def. that means he's smart and/or witty.

loyal: ON.

plays guitar: DRM. i feel guitars are too cliche nowadays.

plays drums: HELL YEAH ON.

sings: ON.

is buff: ON. duh. but not the john cena [though he IS cute] kind.

can draw: ON.

easily jealous: OFF. can you imagine what he'd do to my boys???

doesn't eat meat: DRM

doesn't eat vegetables: DRM

has a tattoo: ON. just nott one of a dragon or aoemthing corny like that.

has a lip ring: ooooh sexaye. ON.

has tongue ring: ew. OFF.

honest and open: OFF. I'M not honest and open. he'll just make me look bad.

goes to church: DRM. cough cough. [select people now who i'm talking about]

2007-08-07T19:48:00.000+08:00

um hello retards get off my tagboard please?

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NO MD TAUFIK, I DO NOT WANT ANY OF YOUR IMAGINARY CUPCAKES CAN YOU PLEASE FUCK OFF NOW GODDDD!

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okay i've locked myself in a room.

peace and quiet.

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first off:

omgomgomg!!! GREY'S ANATOMY'S COMING BACK ON WEDNESDAY!!! SCRREEEEAAAAM.

how many times have i prayed for this day to come??

EIGHT BLOODY MONTHS, that's how long. so you can understand my euphoric state now can you?

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okay so i'm currently at helmi's after one whole week (!!) of not seeing any of the boys' fugly faces. funny how i forgot how annoying they get when they're all together.

oh yes, helmi. i AM a pretty little princess. suck on THAT bitches

oh dear, i sound quite crude. well, the consequence of 70% of your friends being boys.

i just don't get it.

DO I NOT APPEAL TO GIRLS ENOUGH??

the only girl friends i have are jac, aqilah, imah, siti, aini, erica and shidah. and that's it.

the rest are dirty, sweaty, vulgar boys.

i have come to the conclusion that there is something horribly, terribly wrong with me. do i have bad breath or something??

i need more girl friends dammnit.

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so today wasn't all that bad.

o levels has really taken a toll on some of the teachers here.

and i never thought i'd ever say this but, i hate mrs choo sometimes, i really do.

and ms tan. but that one i've hated with every fibre of my being since day 1. i think she's actually a part time teacher and a full time WITCH. and i really don't mean the hermione kind either. more like bellatrix lestrange but with greasier hair.

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and the incident during ss was so frikking awkward, i swear to god. ms ibaidah wanted to seat me next to isa and i went like WHAAAAT and the whole class was staring at me while my face twisted into disgust.

oh, i don't think hao yi was the only one who noticed. seva almost rolled on the floor trying to surpress her giggles.

thank god ms ibaidah changed her mind. i don't think i could've tolerated sitting next to that asshole.

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paul McCartney, you are a GOD. if only i'd been born like fourty years earlier.

it's not fair.

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nnnnnnnnnnnn people in the 1960's had the beatles, audrey hepburn, tie-dye shirts, jimmy hendrix, the rolling stones, beehive hairdos and elvis. the 80's were the cure, preps, acid-washed jeans, rob lowe, the ramones, the breakfast club and LLOYD DOBBLER. nnnnnnnnn what do WE have?? lindsay lohan aka miss firecrotch, paris hilton the slut of the century, emo-shit, TWITS FOR GODSSAKES and the beckhams. i feel so deprived. i guess skinny jeans are totally racore but still. i was totally born in the wrong era, i'm telling you.

2007-08-06T18:37:00.001+08:00

Put The Big Red Button on your site

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ROFLMAO. [raw-ful-lu-mao]

this was on lyana's blog. i totally pressed till it reached the end.

i kid you not.

and that was one LOONNGGG journey to the end.

2007-08-05T20:57:00.000+08:00

okay so yesterday's outing was The Shizz.

though i lost my ez link card and am now contemplating how i'm gonna survive the rest of the freaking week [since i already NEED money to buy my mom a birthday present -her birthday being on wednesday and all dear lord, how am i supposed to afford this???] but whatever.

the simpsons was super duper ally wooper funny.

"Lisa, clap for alaska!"

Luh-mao.

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after the movies we went for ben and jerry's. end result:

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yes, people. that is MOI with the CutE CutE DEr wOrXx smile. aqilah just makes me soo deliriously happy you see.

oh and after that we stumbled upon keng wei, lynne, kit ming, greg, shawnald and min er outside cathay.

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and beware. Nurimah Bte Abdul Ghani is a boob grabber!!! be wary when you're in close proximity with her.

hahahahah okay so what happened was that we were in the bus on the way home and the bus suddenly lurched forward right and then cause me and jac were standing in the middle without any handles, the three of us [ONLY. which makes it even more embarrassing] flew forward too with imah falling onto jac falling onto me and i was unceremoniously shoved into the poor lady behind me. [who was very very nice about it by the way. even though i think my elbow hit her stomach DAMN hard]

yeah and apparently imah, when she was falling accidentally grabbed onto this nyonya's boob for leverage.

ROFL. god, i almost busted my gut laughing lah ok.

okay, so thanks guys for a great day(:

LOVEEE <3

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P.S: tell me you don't think kevin arnold [ahhh bless the 'wonder years'. i always wondered whatever happened between winnie cooper and kevin. they were so effing CUTE] looks like KEITH LEONG. i mean, SERIOUSLY.

and duh jackie, i mean the boy on the right.

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2007-08-03T21:28:00.000+08:00

because chemistry is a bitch and i got bored out of my wits:

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no offense to anyone who's a fan of these.. people [and i use this term loosely] but they have effing retarded poses.

2007-08-03T19:58:00.000+08:00

NOTE: in conjunction to this post, if any of you are diyanah lovers and are in the least bit displeased with what i'm about to say, hate tags and spams are fully welcomed. they amuse me oh so much. thank you (:

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i cut my hairrrr!!! and i'm so in laaaahve with it.

no one in my family noticed. figures.

it took me this long to get it cut because i still haven't gotten over the trauma of my last haircut from mr 'ah beng from hell' [batteries not required.]

recap: way too short bangs that resulted in me pinning up my fringe for what felt like ten years.

yeah.

but, i have seen the light again. *cue dramatic happy song.

i now have hope that not all hairdressers are out to ruin your hair and cheat you out of your money. the faith lives.

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ok, so anyway, today was such a happening day.

first off let me just say that "ohmygsh! diyanah sounds like a freaking MAN!! HAHAHAHAHA"

proceeds to roll on floor in laughter. i mean, seriously???

SERIOUSLY???

that's what she really sounds like??

when she started screaming at us, my reaction was

a) eyes went wide

b) shook ear to make sure that it was really HER talking and not some random guy

c) laughed hysterically with azureen till my stomach hurt

sigh. guess she can add 'talking' to that list of things she can't do.

tsk. poor girl.

whispers. it's like she's reTARDed or something?

raises eyebrows.

does somebody know something i don't?

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so, it all started off in the canteen with imah, azureen, aqilah and jac.

isa was being an asshole [ie. "can you guys not disturb diyanah cause she's my prostitute and i have to pay her double if she gets angry." and not in a very polite way might i add] and diyanah was nearby. and she was looking fucking ridiculous in a red baju kebaya top, school skirt and pump shoes. [honestly, we shouldn't have wasted our energy. the fashion police would have come to hang her sooner or later]

so the bitch had walked off to get changed and azureen and me were walking by her bag to put back our plates at the malay stall when, what do you know? azureen accidentally tripped and all the leftover macaroni spilled onto ickle deedee's bag!

we panicked!

what could we do??

we'd just destroyed a poor, innocent, beautiful little girl's bag!

we were mortified!

so, we tried to clean it off as best as we can. unfortunately though, some macaroni pieces were still stuck on the bag.

what could we have done? it's not like we carried a magic clean along with us wherever we went.

so we just walked off.

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the next thing we knew, as the whole group of us were walking up the stairs, ickle deedee comes barging onto azureen, shouting at her in that big, manly voice of hers.

i swear to god, i was so amused by her voice, i don't even know what the hell she was booming on about.

and THEN, she SHOVED poor azureen! [who didn't retaliate of course]

what a BITCH right??? it was an A.C.C.I.D.E.N.T.

but did she listen? noooo.

she just went rambling on and on about god knows what and in the end just walked off.

seriously, was she a former student of MINDS? cause if she is, i don't think she's ready to take on a normal school yet. the girl is seriously SLOW in the brain.

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so yeah, after that she went boohoo-ing to her friends while we watched from the third floor, still laughing our asses off. [have you tried surgery deedee?]

ahh.

good times.

this is sooo what i imagined the last year in school would be like.

oh, and by the way isa, imah isn't the 'dog' and she would never fuck you because honestly, there isn't much to fuck.

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oooh! movie date tomorrow with jac, aqilah and imah (:

watching the simpsons. yayness.

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p.s: yet again, spams are totally welcome. i'm surprised i still haven't gotten any hate tags yet. how utterly boring.

2007-08-02T19:33:00.000+08:00

my super sweet sixteen script.

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hani: like, ohmygod daddy. i like, so totally need to get an elephant into my sweet sixteen party. like, seriously. it's essential. elephants are like, so in. please daddy, pleaseeeee?

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daddy: of course darling.

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hani: oh and that like, awesome chanel dress i saw daddy. i NEED that. like, i'll DIE if you don't let me get it. i swear daddy, i'll like hang myself. and it's only $234,572,829,176. on sale, daddy!

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daddy: anything you say sweetie. monoglogue: damn that party planner is hot. is he single? nice biceps.

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hani: and daddyyyy. what about the car? i'm getting the car, right daddy? i want the porsche okay daddy? like, all my friends have it. so of course i have to have it. we are all total carbon copies of each other. aren't we like, the coolest ever? *twists hair around finger.

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daddy: hmm.. sure.. now, what about asking eduardo's number for me? errr daddy needs to talk.. politics.

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hani: DADDY! what about the hookers? have you called them daddy?? all my guy friends are like, sooo looking forward to the hookers. ohoh! and the strippers. don't forget the strippers, daddy.

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daddy: hmm.. okay.

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mommy: [in some foreign accent as all MSSS moms all have] sweetie, hookers?? no, NO. this i will not take. no hookers, honey. haven't you learnt ANYTHING from your last abortion?

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hani: daddyyyyy. mommy's not letting me have the hookers.!

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daddy: okay. whatever you say sweetie [man! look at that as-]

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hani: *SCREECH. SOB. SOB. WHINE.* you guys ruin everything! you're ruining my life! i hate you! this is MY party! this is MY night. you guys are ONLY paying for it! you never support my decisions! i hate you! *SCREECH.* [storms out of room and slams bedroom door]

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-next day. party day!-

no hookers were seen, unfortunately.

a commotion is heard in the middle of the dance floor

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hani: ohmygod! i CANnot believe you're like, wearing the same dress as me you bitch! this is MY DAY! i'm not wearing this 'look at me! pay attention to ME!' sign on my head for nothing. I HATE you! I thought you were my friend!

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jackie: *smirks.* i AM your friend. that's why i'm telling you right now you look fat in that dress. and i look fabulous. HAH.

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hani: [jumps onto jackie, pulling her hair and smacking her face onto the floor] you *smack* slutbag *smack* whore! *smack* get out of my party!

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-two hours later-

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hani: *sobsob. i'm sorry.

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jackie; no I'M sorry. *sobsob.

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hani: okay, we're both sorry. best friend!

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jackie: AWWW. HUG!! squee!!

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host: can we request for the birthday girl to steep outside for her birthday present?

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hani: ohmygawwd! like, what is this? ohemgee! what do you think it is?? [because we ALL know that MSSS girls get teddy bears from their parents on their birthdays. HUGE teddy bears that only fit in driveways]

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-outside-

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hani: OH! MY! GAWWWD! IT'S A CAR! IT'S A CAR! i soo did not see this coming! i TOTALLY didn't have a clue! thank you mommy! oh i love you guys soo much. wait- where's daddy?

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-meanwhile, dad is playing tonsil hockey with eduardo the party planner-

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END OF SCRIPT

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you bitches better be glad i'm not rich. there'd be hell to pay if i was.

2007-07-31T19:57:00.000+08:00

sleep deprived. VERY sleep deprived. she shouts at everyone. it's not his fault. of course, it's our fault. no, no. he's an angel isn't he? absolutely faultless. i said so, didn't i? it was a mistake. nobody listened. no one notices except for me. whatever, let them live in their ignorance. i know. i know so many things. i'd tell if only someone'd just ask. he isn't coming home tonight. i just know it.

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maybe if my heart stops beating, it won't hurt this much.

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2007-07-30T18:07:00.000+08:00

the beatles are genius.

HEY JUDE

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hey jude, don't make it bad

take a sad song and make it better

remember to let her into your heart

then you can start to make it better

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hey jude, don't be afraid

you were made to go out and get her

the minute you let her under your skin

then you begin to make it better

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and any time you feel the pain

hey jude, refrain

don't carry the world upon your shoulders

for well you know that it's a fool who plays it cool

by making his world a little colder

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hey jude, don't let me down

you have found her, now go and get her

remember to let her into your heart

then you can start to make it better.

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i feel so drained nowadays. i don't know.. this whole exam thing's taking a toll on me i guess.

oh and i get it about him now.

because in love, you're always trying to find someone more amazing than you. but the thing is, the other person's trying to find someone more amazing too.

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don't fly fast, oh pilot can you help me?

2007-07-28T19:54:00.000+08:00

aqilah, jac and aini may prefer greece or italy or ireland or whatnot but this right here, is heaven for me. and it doesn't matter if you guys start being irritating and disagreeing with me. i'm a city girl through and through.

ooh and i'll take tauf with me. we've made a pact to scrimp and save our money now annd by the time we're 25, we'll have enough money to move to manhattan (:

2007-07-27T21:26:00.000+08:00

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sandballs [ouch, tauf!], melted ice cream cakes, mcdonalds balloons, hot pink candles, birthday songs at the top of our lungs, ELLA ELLA EH EH EH!! , seashell necklaces [that came undone the minute you put it on pffft] and a black sash with 'IT'S MY BIRTHDAY TODAY' sewn on it [that took me TWO whole hours okay. better be thankful] that we all made luke wear.

happy birthday oh awesome one :D

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so, can someone please tell me why it is that my hair looks so rad only in shadows?? look at it, it actually looks curly.

okay, so from the top right hand corner in clockwise direction [putting my oral picture discussion skills to use here] :

yan - with the hole in his face god knows why. he looks like a dementor. me - i'm doing what i do best. smirking. heh. luke - who's sad because he didn't manage to catch any hot girls at the beach. [what?? i'm not hot enough for you, luke???] helmi - i told you he was short. laaawl. sorry helmi(: hahahaha but yeah, that's how he always looks like. happy, i mean. taufik - yeah, those are his legs. i am infinitely jealous of his fair-ness. he NEVER gets dark. oh and he's grumpy because yan forgot to bring his cd. and the last one's ayu - she's just plain evil. smirks.

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and so, people, this is the closest you'll get to looking at any of their faces. they proclaim they're 'camera shy'. i say they just know that they're fugly and they don't want anybody looking at their faces. i, unfortunately, have to look at them almost every other day. god knows, it's a miracle i haven't scratched my eyes out yet.

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KIDDING.

you know i love you guys (:

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anyway, the worst part of prelims are over thank god. my brain actually hurts.

there's still english paper two and practicals next week though.

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i finally got to go to the library and borrow two books just now. i feel like i haven't stepped in the library for such a long time. kinda miss it. heh.

oh and AINI, JAC AND AQILAH:

i'm a city girl through and through(:

away with all your countrysides and green pastures and waterfalls. i prefer apartments, shopping, city lights and moving vehicles [though i'm so getting a hybrid. save the earth!]

i can always go to greece for holidays anyway.

then i'll visit you eh aqilah?

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2007-07-26T15:30:00.000+08:00

260707.

aka the worst day i've had since a looooonngg time.

exhibit a) had lit prelims today. BUT MY TEXT WAS MISSING. searched and serached and searched. tore the room apart. and then remembered - PING YAN told me he wanted to borrow it 'for a while' and then return on monday [three days ago!] cause he wanted to copy my notes.

okay, pissed but, i guess it's my own fault for not asking for it earlier. thank god i still had my notes.

exhibit b) math paper 2. aaaand surprise, surprise. i forgot to bring my FREAKIN pencilbox. inside was well, EVERYTHING AND my calculator AND that mars bar i was gonna eat during recess. so i went around like a beggar and borrowed every little thing from others. [thanks jacshidahamalina(: ]

exhibit c) because i didn't have my text, i didn't really know ALL the stories and the one story i was hoping beyond hope didn't come out DID. duh, of course. and i forgot the name of the character. mr griggs. you wanna know what i wrote instead??

MR ROGERS.

like, whathefuck right? HOW THE HELL DO YOU GET FROM MR GRIGGS TO MR ROGERS?!??

pfft.

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oh yeah and now my mars bars has melted.

EFFYOULIFE.

you hate me, i hate you. i guess the feeling's mutual eh?

ergh okay.

on the bright side though, i borrowed helmi's camera and took some pics today. quite impressive, if i do say so myself.

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he has this GORGEOUS library in the gameroom with like a hundred books. LOVE. i can spend hours in there man.

and yet again, starbucks was on yan [who was flirting mercilessly with the gorgeous counter girl who was waaaay out of his league. winks]

p.s: you are sorely missed tauf. you know you and i are the only sane ones in the group.

2007-07-25T20:45:00.000+08:00

i hate it that most people just ASSUME that anything that goes wrong in imah and isa's relationship is caused by imah.

everyone thinks isa's just this innocent, total gentleman that would never do anything to hurt his (ex)girlfriend.

huh.

WRONG. SO WRONG.

you know what they say about assuming. makes an ass out of you and me.

so all of you out there who are bad mouthing imah, EFF YOU. you don't know the first thing about what happened. just STOP assuming dammit.

so you better listen up right now and open your selfish eyes.

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funny, when you think you know someone and then you find out all these horrible things about them. i always thought of him as the boy next door you know. totally clean cut and mama's boy kind. heck, EVERYONE thought of him that way.

i bet none of you know that he's been flirting with diyanah from sec 2 [BITCH if there ever was one. she's such a fcuked up whore.] for a longg time when he was still in a relationship with imah.

he SAYS he doesn't like her but he keeps returning all her messages.

tell me, how would YOU feel if your boyfriend has been messaging this other girl and even went out on a date with her proclaiming they're 'just friends'. a big fat WHATEVER.

typical guys.

the whole lot of us went to lot 1 after school just now and saw him standing outside the toilet. we'd seen diyanah earlier waiting in front of pizza hut [and then shouting 'oh look it's the bitch!' really loudly. fun, fun.] so ME being the genius that i am [ahemahem. thank you. thank you very much] put two and two together and figured out she was prolly in the toilet and he was waiting outside for her.

i was right.

DUH.

we saw her on the way out and then at the mrt station with isa. and the thing is, isa actually had told imah that he was 'playing street soccer'.

street soccer your head.

PFFT.

i've figured out something: it's inevitable that when you date a guy, he'll end up cheating on you. guys just have no resistance to temptation. weak, i tell you. WEAK.

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honestly speaking, i'm totally downplaying this whole thing for you guys. don't wanna delve into it cause i'm scared i'll spill a secret or two.

all i'm saying is, can all of you please stop being so narrow-minded? STOP gossiping about my friend, STOP looking at her and judging her just because you think you know what's going on. and if he's told you some sob story about imah hurting HIM or whatever, just take into consideration the fact that there's two sides of every story.

and i'm the more credible source.

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oh yeah. let's all bring eggs tomorrow and throw them at diyanah eh? OR we could write 'slut' all over her table. classic. we'll discuss this matter tomorrow. meeting adjourned.

nnnnnnnnnnn

nnnnnnnnnnnn

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

okay wait, on another note - DEAN WINCHESTER IS SO CUTE. and you probably won't understand the avatars unless you've watched the show. but whatever. it's for MY viewing pleasure.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nn

p.s: you make me swoon,kl. sweetchocolatesugarcoeatedcandyman(:

2007-07-25T16:56:00.000+08:00

ehhhh i have a tagboard now. so tagtagtag oksiedoks?

i haven't seen the fugly for five days now. they're all at helmi's having fun without me.

insert puppy dog face.

nnnnnnnnn

god, i'm so tired. math was actually okay.

but CHEM was like UGGGGGHHHH. bio wasn't all that bad either. tomorrow's math paper2. -faints-

i don't know if i can survive the week.

HAAAALP.

tsk break's over. have to go now.

i'm so not ready for o levels. I NEED MORE TIME.

tick tock, hani.

2007-07-24T19:04:00.000+08:00

just finished geog paper just now. came home at like 11? damn early ah.

tomorrow is MATH paper 1, BIO and CHEM.

screw the sadistic person who set the timetable. does is pleasure you so to see us tortured like this???

rawr.

oh yeah and happy belated birthday dan rad :D

<333

2007-07-23T22:33:00.000+08:00

AH-MAZING.

amazingamazingamazing.

the beginning, the middle, the ending. i LOVED everything. especially the ending.

harry potter has changed my life. i loved the ending so much, i cried tears of joy, i kid you not.

i shan't spoil it for you because i'm not a bitch(:

my love story with harry started seven years ago and it'll last for a lifetime. he's always been my first love.

because i still remember the day i first bought the philosopher's stone. i remember it was a thursday, i was 9, it was at a school booksale and i'd only bought the book cause i'd exhausted my whole enid blyton series and was in desperate need of a good read.

turned out to be the best book i'd picked up.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

i am one VERY satisfied girl now.

2007-07-22T19:14:00.000+08:00

SHIIIITT.

you will NOT believe this.

my uncle came by my house today and he asked me and my sis why we haven't bought harry potter and we said 'cos we have no money and have un-supporting parents pfft' and he literally THREW fifty dollars on the table and went 'nah. go buy ah.'

WTF.

ohmggg. what i would do to be as rich as him mannnn.

how can you just do that??? throw fifty bucks on the table and tell two teenage girls to go buy themselves a book??

wowwww. he'll get a trophy for 'best uncle of the year' when he birthday comes.

now, the real dilemma.

do i read it?

i mean, i can't get distracted. i need to mug for prelims.

alaaaah. confusion, confusion.

and i am SOOOO not a person who can resist temptation. especially a temptation as big as HARRY FREAKING POTTER.

i might be the biggeest potter fan you'll ever meet. besides amin. heh.

2007-07-22T13:21:00.000+08:00

if ANY OF YOU dare tell me what happens in the end of harry potter, I SWEAR TO GOD i will KILL you.

i'll stab your chest, rip out your fucking heart and feed it to the sharks, i swear.

i don't care who you are, anyone, ANYONE who dares to tell me the fucking ending. BEWARE.

i don't even wanna know A WORD of what's in that book.

and i'm not kidding okay. this isn't hani-being-sarcastic-funny-and-she-doesn't-mean-it kinda thing. I'M SERIOUS.

after i finish this post, i'm swearing off this laptop and the tv.

my sister's gonna buy the book on monday but i'm not allowed to read till after prelims.

maybe harry potter doesn't mean anything to you, but it sure AS HELL means a lot to me. yesterday when they showed j.k. rowling reading the part of the first chapter of the book on the news, i started closing my ears and SCREAMING like a maniac.

so if you even THINK of approaching me and telling me the ending just to irritate me in some way, WALK. AWAY.

JUST.GO.

you DO NOT wanna risk your life over a freaking book.

you've been warned.

if you open your big fat mouth, you're gonna literally be dead to me.

don't make me go all psycho bitch on your ass.

2007-07-19T22:53:00.000+08:00

ALAAA. you see lahh. now i'm starting to miss my umi kalthom again.

bloody hell, jarir. talking to you online always makes me think about it.

eff you.

PFFTT.

nnnnnnnnnnnn

so, tomorrow's racial harmony day. it won't be that much fun without umi and her enthu-nak-mampos attitude, trying to persuade everyone in class to wear ethnic costumes.

bloody racial harmony day. it's also making me miss her.

but, well. i'm still deciding whether to just go in my uniform or not.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnn

-interval-

nnnnnnnnnn

quote of the moment by mohd haris bin rosli: go to hell you four letter word that ends with an -er.

tsk tsk. children nowadays ah. no manners.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

anywho, can anybody tell me how the fuck aliff won anugerah?? i was so tickled when they announced he won. like seriously??? how do you go from having singers like eka mairina and isk [pikir cool eh? LOL] and heck, even hyrul [yet again. damn cool ah] anwar to ALIFF AZIZ?? he can't sing for fuck's sake. it sounds like he's whispering into the mike and it's sooo obvious that's not his natural voice.

dahlah mater juling. then there's his BIGGG teeth that are just urrgggh puke. and his holier than thou attitude that makes me wanna scratch my eyes out.

tsk. stupid money wasting fangirls.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

so right now i'm CRAVING for sushi. which i just ate like three hours ago?

stupid japanese people. i tell you, they put some sort of voodoo ingredient in their sushis that make people addicted to it. one day i'm gonna report on it.

2007-07-18T12:43:00.000+08:00

i fucking hate being sick. on monday i had a fever but had to go to school because of malay o level listening compre. yesterday i had unbearably painful stomach cramps the whole night and this morning, i vomitted all over my school uniform after i showered. so i had to get showered AGAIN and went back to bed.

and then i vomitted on my pillow.

sick, man.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

i have no idea what the hell's wrong with me. mom says it's food poisoning.

i say it's stress.

nnnnnnnnnnnn

i also say that's it's the fuckin unfair that we have prelims so much earlier than every other school. i get that they're trying to help us and all but my mind's about to blow damnit. i mean it's in 4 (!!) days and i haven't revised for chemistry. neither have i goen through last year's math chapters. THERE'S JUST NO TIME!! *hyperventilates*

i'm so fucking dead.

i predict my prelim results to be, for both math and science: F BLOODY NINE.

i guess i can count on english, lit and humans for at least an a2 or b3 but other than that, iam D.O.O.M.E.D.

fucking o levels. it's making me curse like a fucking sailor.

and i know FOR SURE that i'm not getting into any jc for the first two (?) months.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

FUCKYOULIFE.

2007-07-14T13:04:00.000+08:00

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

THIS movie was so frikking awesome like whoa. omggg. daniel radcliffe, you sexpot. you make me wanna lala!! fred and george are so cuteee. and ron too, now that he's cut his hair. CHO CHANG YOU CAN GO TO HELL BITCH! stop stealing my harry. hermione, is, as hermione will always be. fave!! emma watson is such a good actress.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

DESPITE all this though, WHATTHEHELL happened to the last scene in the book with harry shouting at dumbledore?? that's my favourite part in the book! or the part where harry, ron and hermione meet frank and alice longbottom at the hospital?? scratch that. WHERE WAS THE WHOLE HOSPITAL SCENE?? i wanted to see st mungo's at least ONCE you know. and also the rita skeeter part where she interviews harry. i loveee the movie but i was just a bit dissapointed.

all that said, i'm still in love with harry potter and i ADORE this movie - best one yet. now, i'm just waiting for the book! 21st july, here i come.

very weird quiz

2007-07-11T18:42:00.000+08:00

was blog hopping and found this. it's the most random quiz i've ever come across. it's like someone picked my brain.

anyway.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

if you could be a character in a tv show who would you be?

veronica mars!! a) she gets to kiss logan echolls b) she gets to kiss logan echolls oh, and c) she gets to kiss logan echolls. squee!

also, she's super pretty, super smart, stands up for what she believes in and doesn't care about what anyone else says about her.

sigh. she's awe-some.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnn

favourite cereal?

waffles' crisps. god knows how much calories are in that fat induced, maple syrup-ed ceral but heck, who cares.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnn

what do you think of doughnuts?

they're round, have holes in the middle and are sometimes covered completely in powdered sugar. what's there to think about? JUST EAT IT.

nnnnnnnnnnnnn

which do you prefer? singlehood or relationships?

being single. no, clingy boys, no overly jealous boyfriends, no lover's spats and freedom to flirt with whomever you want to?? HECK, YEAH.

ergh. sides, relationships take SOOO much effort to make work and i just don't have the time nor patience.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnn

describe your friends.

ALL of them are hilarious. i feel like i must've done something right in my past life to have deserved them. I HEART YOU GUYSSSSS <3

feel the love y'all.

nnnnnnnnnnn

coffee or tea?

coffee addict, i am. yoda, however, i am not.

nnnnnnnnnnn

most gorgeous boy/girl you've ever MET.

taufik, hands down. undeniably hot even though he comes with an ego the size of a football field. tauf, if you're reading this, DON'T PERASAN LAH EH. you know there's only one person out there for me and it's not you. stop trying to seduce me already. my heart and soul's been taken. BY ADAM BRODY. swooooon.

peass: totally joking about the seducing part. he would never. awkward much? sides, my gay-dar is usually off the hook when i'm around him if you know what i mean.

[i'm totally gonna get killed for this. cowers.]

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

do you cry easily?

no. no. and no. unless it has anything to do with leonardo decaprio dying. i.e. titanic. i just, can't take the fact that poor leo has to DIEEE. why couldn't have kate whatsherface died instead??? PFFT.

nnnnnnnnn

body feature you hate most.

my effing short torso. it's so UN-proportionate to my legs which are freakishly long. tsk. i'm supposed to be TALLER than i am right now.

rawr.

nnnnnnnnnnnn

are you easily deceived?

you can't lie to a liar now, can you?

nnnnnnnnnnnnnn

how observant are you?

extremely, painfully so. it's like a curse. I'M SERIOUS. i always observe people's body language and i know when they're not actually saying what they feel inside. like how yan always cracks his knuckles when he's lying and how my brother scratches his nose or looks at the ground when he's not telling the truth. it's not that great you know, when people tell you "of course you're special" or something and you can actually tell they're lying.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnn

favourite song ever.

monster - meg and dia. fucking awesome. lyrical ingenuity.

nnnnnnnnnnn

thing that you are most looking forward to in the whole of this month.

HARRY POTTER!!!! the movie and the book! ahhhh! must. have. both.

and i swear to god, if anyone reads the book before i do and deliberately tell me what happens in the end, I. WILL. HUNT. YOU. DOWN.

nnnnnnnnnnnn

do you like sneezing?

weird question. but well, who doesn't? like sneezing i mean.

nnnnnnnnnnnnn

random song lyrics.

i'm trying my best to hurt me/ Ian says it's never enough/ a razor to the wrist for each unshed tear/ cough it up, drink it up drink it up.

nnnnnnnnnn

favourite earworm?

the potential breakup song - aly & aj

nnnnnnnnnnnn

looks or personality?

personality, definitely. what's the point of being good-looking when you have the personality of a wallpaper? although, it's a definite plus if he's good looking. smirks.

nnnnnnnnnnnn

do you own a myspace account?

no. i find things like myspace and friendster extremely overrated and pointless. plus, i'm very protective over my privacy, i hate taking pictures [which would make my myspace album have zilch pictures] and i find showcasing your life to strangers almost a bit like voyeurism.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

are you shy around the opposite sex?

snort.

yeah, right.

nnnnnnnnnn

what do you think about infidelity?

ugh. UGH.

i mean, first you marry the person, promise to make a lifelong commitment and then you CHEAT on her?? why the fuck did you marry in the first place?? what? is it like a funfair to you??

"ohh look, there's a pretty girl. i'm gonna go marry her so i can have sex with her and then i'll cheat on her, let her divorce me and then DO THE SAME FUCKING THING TO THE NEXT GIRL! OH HOW FUCKING FUN!!!"

ugh. MEN.

nnnnnnnnnnnn

are you a feminist?

refer to above answer.

nnnnnnnnnn

can you cook?

just basics i guess. fried rice, soup, frying ANYTHING basically. i need to learn how to cook spagetthi properly. as of now, my spagetthis always turn out too sweet.

weird.

nnnnnnnnnnn

who is your favourite dissney princess?

belle from beauty and the beast.

dude, she managed to fall in love with an ugly monster. props to her, man.

nnnnnnnnnnn

biggest pet peeve?

bad grammar. bad spelling. illegitimate handwriting.

nnnnnnnnnnnnn

do you have motion sickness?

sometimes. only when i haven't eaten before going on a long car/ bus ride, then i'd feel sick, turn pale and then puke.

nnnnnnnnnnnnn

what is it that attracts you to a guy/girl?

their sense of humour. i love a funny guy that can hold his end of the conversation and not just go 'haha' when i'm being sarcastic. fight back, man! i like a good argument.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

does romance appeal to you?

you are talking to the most UN-romantic person here. don't hold your breath.

WHATHEHELL

2007-07-09T19:00:00.000+08:00

SHIT.

seriously.

omgwtf.

HUHHH????

i am disgusted, creeped out, FREAKED out and kinda flattered [just a little bit. like the size of a bloody sperm kind of a bit] by this.

mostly creeped out.

EWWWWW.

gross lahhhhh.

okay, 90% of you don't know what i'm talking bout soooo.. moving on eh?

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

so anywhoo, i was SO SURPRISED when luke called me this afternoon and asked me to go study with him.

i mean, SERIOUSLY??? luqman hakim, STUDYING??! i mean, most people wouldn't even use the words 'luqman' and 'study' in the same sentence.

whoa. miracles DO happen.

so we went to the library at the civics centre and studied for bio cause he INSISTED even though everyone knows how much i absolutely LOATHE biology.

i never knew i could hate a subject as much as math.

and then along came biology.

pfft.

anyway, while we were studying, this couple comes along and sits at the empty space at our table.

so yeah, at first we didn't pay attention to them but suddenly we hear this like DISGUSTING moaning sound and they were like seriously making out in front of us lahhh!

and it wasn't just the kiss on the lips kind of making out. it was the i-want-to-have-sex-with-you-right-now kind of making out.

GROSS PLEASE!!! i mean, in the library???

of all places, the one place you want to tear your girlfriend's clothes off is in the library??? is that people nowadays' idea of romance?!

luke was extremely fascinated by the ongoing display of affection and was totally gawking while laughing [not very inconspicuously might i add] at them. while I on the other hand, was desperately trying to cover my eyes, gather my things and get luke to get the hell out of there all at the same time.

not a very easy feat i tell you.

but yeah, we did managed to get out of there in the end, though, not without mental images that are enough to scar me for the rest of my life.

eugh.

nnnnnnnnnnnnn

so went to swensen's [luke's treat ((: ] after that to get ice cream and home-d. i realise i haven't seen sufyan my best big fat ego of a friend for such a long time. it's been four days already and all i'd gotten was a "good morning babes!! it's a beautiful day today! don't go outside ah. you'll spoil it and make everything ugly :D" on saturday and sunday morning.

padahal tinggal punyelah dekat.. tsktsk.

this proves i could NEVER keep up a long distance relationship.

so i hope i get to meet him tomorrow.

nnnnn

yeah. ripped off alia's blog(:

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

you.

can.

only.

type.

one.

word.

not as easy as you might think.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnn

your cell phone?

abused

nnnnnnnnnn

your boyfriend/girlfriend?

uninterested.

nnnnnnnnnn

your hair?

boring

nnnnnnnnnnn

your mother?

irritating

nnnnnnnn

your father?

bitter

nnnnnnnnnn

your favourite thing?

books.

nnnnnnnnnnn

your dream last night?

TERRIFYING

nnnnnnnnnnnnn

your favourite drink?

unhealthy

nnnnnnnnnnnn

your dream car?

HUGE

nnnnnnnnnnn

the room you're in?

cramped

nnnnnnnnnnn

your sister(s)?

alien. LOOOOOLLL.

nnnnnnnnnnn

your fear?

clowns

nnnnnnnnnnnnn

what do you want to be in ten years?

RICH.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

who do you hang out with?

hangers

nnnnnnnnnnn

what are you not good at?

heartbreak.

nnnnnnnnnnnnn

what/who do you hate?

cupid.

nnnnnnnnnnnnn

one of your wish list items?

money.

harry potter and the deathly hallows.

oh shit. broke the rules.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

the last thing you did?

killed.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnn

what are you wearing?

trashbag.

nnnnnnnnnnnn

what aren't you wearing?

pink.

nnnnnnnnnnnn

your pet?

nonexistent.

nnnnnnnnn

your computer?

works

nnnnnnnnn

your life?

UN-emo

nnnnnnnnnnnn

your mood?

stressed

nnnnnnnnnn

missing?

yan

nnnnnnnnnn

what are you thinking about right now?

unicorns

nnnnnnnnnnn

your work?

bitching.

nnnnnnnnn

your summer?

hot

nnnnnnnnnn

your status?

singleeeeee.

nnnnnnnnnn

your favourite colour?

red

nnnnnnnnnnn

when was the last time you laughed?

dinner.

nnnnnnnnn

last time you cried hard?

umi.

Guess What

2007-07-08T12:10:00.000+08:00

I MISSED FALL OUT BOY GODDAMNIT!!!!

the only reason i watched live earth was so i could watch FOB and now, i fucking missed it???

bloody hell.

wtfffff.

thanks ah eh people for not informing me about it.

apparently they went on at 10..30 in the morning.

the exact time i was just waking up from my beauty sleep.

rawr.

EARTH DAY - STOP GLOBAL WARMING (!!)

2007-07-07T22:16:00.000+08:00

today's earth day, people (:

so of course me, being the ever environmentalist i am, am right now urging all of you to HELP SAVE THE WORLD.

quit using so much plastic bags. tell them "no" if you don't really NEED them. recycle all unused paper, plastics or metal cans.

stop smoking so much for godssakes.

and who the hell needs hairspray when you have gel right?

i mean, it's not that hard you know.

so, yes. do your part and prevent global warming from becoming too drastic aite.

-end of fantabulous speech-

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

so on friday was our malay olevel orals. it was a bit.. urgh.

i don't know what to think really but i feel like i screwed it up cause a) i forgot the word perhatian and had to pause for like 10 seconds b) i kept on going uh.. ehm.. cause i was figuring out how to translate the words in my head into malay and c) i was so nervous when i started, my voice started trembling.

i did have all my points clearly put though.

so yeah. i was sooo frustrated and almost cried right in front of the teachers even though they were super duper nice to me.

nnnnnnnnnnnnn

but i held onto my tears, went straight on to helmi's house and somehow or another ended up jumping in the pool with my uniform on somewhere in the middle of 'hey helmi' and 'the pool looks so clean'.

and then helmi jumped right in too and we both floated there until i realized i have to get dry before i get home and my mom asks me why the hell i was sopping wet.

i love you, helmi (:

even though you're short and you look like a hobbit. LOL.

thanks for making me feel so much better.

nnnnnnnnnnnn

then yesterday i went to my sister's syf showcase thing in support of her role as 'the cameraman' in her drama club because i'm a good sister.

ohmygod. they have THE WORST band i've ever heard in my whole entire freaking life. i mean, seriously, no offense but WOW.

and i thought WE were a little lousy.

but seriously, even though it's a girls' school, there were SO MANY cute guys who showed up. my eyes were like almost popping out of their sockets.

PFFT. EVEN GIRLS SCHOOLS HAVE CUTER GUYS THAN OUR SCHOOL!!

does that not say something about us????

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

and i just got back from visiting my cousin who's from belgium. very cool.

i only got to see one twin, jamal, but from what i saw, he is gonna be a total heart throb one day.

he's also the smallest 14 year old i've ever seen and speaks english in the cutest accent ever.

i need to get me a belgian. ahahahahah.

ohhh and nad, congrats on the ahemahem thing. glad you found soemone your parents approve of eh?

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

okay, so i'm watching live earth now while messaging hao yi.

who thinks mcr sucks and fall out boy is emo.

rolls eyes.

and now, he's doubting my cooking abilities.

hmph.

LINKIN PARK ROCKS, MAN!!!!

ohmygod..

2007-07-03T22:24:00.000+08:00

i hate emma watson. she makes it so damn difficult for the rest of us mortals to look good. her and her perfect hair, perfect skin, perfect bod. how are WE to compare??? nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

quiz! (again)

2007-07-03T18:34:00.000+08:00

hey diddly hoe.

i'm now at helmi's house (again) using his superduper gorgeous mac notebook to type this.

i swear to god, that rich boy better get me something good for my birthday.

the boys are downstairs swimming and have left me and taufik (who sprained his ankle, poor sod) all alone in helmi's room.

nnnnnnnnn

anyhoo, i've decided to do this cause i think it's cool and i'm cool like that. smirk.

-tauf is making me type this. no, i'm not cool because i bought a (super gorgeous) converse bag that is exactly the same one he bought yesterday. i bought it on sat which technically means HE is copying me. what can i say. great minds think alike-

WHATEVER.

anyway.

nnnnnnnnnn

7 random facts about me.

1. i wash my face with shampoo.

2. sometimes i tell people i'm lesbian just to see how they'd react.

3. i used to eat ruffles (the potato chips) almost every other day. i got so sick of it that now, just looking at one makes my stomache lurch.

4. i enjoy targetting someone to focus my bitchings on. it's keeps me from getting bored.

5. i get secretly annoyed when a select few individuals call me 'honey'. or 'their honey'.

6. i have different obssessions in different periods of my life. there was the brendon urie phase, grey's anatomy phase, the daniel radcliffe phase, the michelle branch phase and now the jared & jensen phase. imma freak.

7. i found out today that there is actually a story named after moi. i'm serious. the title says "hani". gawd i'm so spe-shul, i can't stand myself sometimes.

[i said this to tauf and he threw m&ms at my head. he's just jealous. spiteful ass.]

nnnnnnnnnnnn

7 things that scare me.

1. CLOWNS. i am extremely terrified of them. it was so bad when i was younger that it got to a point where i sometimes started hyperventilating when i saw a clown. 'clowns are you friend'. a big fat PFFT to that!

2. crossing the road/ jaywalking. it was worse last year. now i'm much better at crossing the road (:

3. fishes' eyeballs. my brother LOVES eating them. puke.

4. marriage.

5. the coming o's.

6. death.

7. blood. ewewewewewewew.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

7 random music at the moment.

1. read my mind - the killers

2. the take's pver, the break's over - fall out boy

3. timmy - meg and dia

4. pictures of houses - tilly and the wall

5. tragedy - brandi carlile

6. when you're gone - avril lavigne

7. DKNY - west grand boulevard

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

7 things i like most

1. music

2. books. which leads to me practically living in the library. which leads to me loving the library too.

3. coffee. i can't believe it. i'm turning into a coffee junkie. i HAVE to get my cup of coffee before i go to school every morning. if not i'll start falling asleep in class and get scolded by ms lim the mushroom.

4. the zoo buds <3

5. my four boyfriends. the self proclaimed boy band-ers.

6. tv. you CANNOT expect me to live without tv. take my laptop away. whatever. just NOT my tv.

7. clothes

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

7 things i say the most

1. like, like, like [though not as much as aqilah the malibu barbie]

2. whatever.

3. seriously? SERIOUSLY.

4. shuddup lah

5. ugh.

6. i don't CARE what you think about me, hao yi. go to hell.

7. bloody hell. [gotta love ron weasley]

nnnnnnnnnn

by the way, harry potter the movie AND the book is coming out!

MUST. WATCH.

and the heroes cast are coming to singapore on august 31st.

do you think zachary quinto will report to the police if i start stalking him and make him marry me?

I'm a bitch but my boys still love me. heh.

2007-07-02T19:48:00.000+08:00

just for clarification. the 'I'm not gay' comment was by yan

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

okay so let's start on friday.

that was the ccks idol day.

and ohh yes people it is as lame as it sounds. who're we trying to kid? there's no real talent here. pfft. i do think evelyn has quite a nice voice. but besides her, that's just it i guess.

i actually only went in support of imah and to unleash the bitch in me unto diyanah.

which i totally did.

duuuude, it was awesome.

she entered the competition and sang buttons by PCD. she even had the whole slutty dance up to pat though even THAT didn't work cause honestly, she's not much of a dancer.

nor is she much of a singer.

which makes us wonder what she's actually doing in a singing competition.

maybe she has this list of things she CAN'T do and wants to go through the list before she dies? what's next? trying to take pictures with different expressions?

oh dear lord, i hope she doesn't hurt herself thinking too much about it. i don't think her brain can take all this "thinking".

but i digress.

bottomline is, me and azureen are extremely mean and i think i freaked out both isa and aidil with my catty-ness.

i would SO make an awesome simon cowell.

nnnnnnnnnnn

after that went with yan to meet helmi.

who lives in one of those HUGE bungalow houses beside the american school.

boy, was i surprised. i mean, the guy doesn't even own a decent pair of shoes, let alone living in a huge house with a gorgeous swimming pool (!!) and a chauffeur.

wtf.

you think you know somebody and then they spring these kinda things up on you. *shakes head.

so yeah, we went to his house and after i freaked out, we watched jangan pandang belakang even though i BEGGED not to cause it's the most BORING horror movie ever on the face of this planet.

but of course they didn't listen to me.

and of course, despite being grown seventeen year old boys, they screamed like little girls when the "ghost" appeared and almost squeezed me to death shouting "no! no! get out of the room!" and "look behind you!" and (my personal favourite) "oh my god! she looks like my nenek!".

the last comment of which was said by helmi and was followed by one minute of hysterical laughter because she really DOES.

rofl.

after that, we ordered pizza and had a tea party out by the pool.

i kid you not.

a tea party. complete with blue china and helmi's sister's soft toys.

sigh. i don't know what to do with them anymore. it's like they become gay-er everyday.

home-d after that.

i love those boys. they make my day look like rainbows and unicorns (:

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

and on saturday i watched TRANSFORMERS! it was awesome!!!!!!!

i swear, it was so good. the visuals were mind-blowing [duh, steven spielberg and michael bay. known geniuses.], the script was funny and josh duhamel was in an army uniform. need i say more?

definitely worth my money.

not that i paid for it or anything but whatever.

the point is, it's anamzing movie. go watch.

nnnnnnnnnnnnn

by the way, I HATE IMEEM. wtf man. everything's a 30 second preview nowadays.

PFFT. like i'm gonna be satisfied with only 30 seconds of a song.

whatever.

PS; the potential breakup song kicks ass. aly is super gorgeous.

sufyan is supremely catty

2007-06-27T21:48:00.000+08:00

I. AM. NOT. GAY.

NNNNNNNNNNN

nnnnnnnnnnnn

(EDITED: don't worry people. he's not ready to come out of the closet yet. it takes time.)

(edited the edited: im not gay you fuckhead. *threat* aku tk nk beli ben & jerrys kau lagi ah.)

(EDITED THE EDITED THE EDITED: for the sake of my ben & jerry's, i shall concede. fine. you're straight as an arrow. happy?)

peeaaasss: don't you love my blogskin??

<33

quiz!!

2007-06-27T18:09:00.000+08:00

1. jackie

2. siti

3. aini

4. shidah

5. aqilah

6. sufyan.

7. helmi

8. taufik

9. (luke)man

10. milo vintimiglia

11. hayden panettiere

12. nadia

13. sammy

14. dean

15. danial

16. hao yi

17. greg

18. adam brody

19. imah

20. erica

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

who do you love the most?

i'm sorry y'all but i'd have to go with adam the brody. GRIN.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnn

what if 5 turns out to be a barbarian? [aqilah]

you mean she isn't already? smirk.

nnnnnnnnnnnnn

if 9 kisses 2 what will happen? [luke and siti]

HAHAHAHAHAHAH. fakh(you)rul would bite luke's head off. we all know how he loves biting EVERYWHERE. lollll. you will be sorely missed, lukey. just make sure to include me in your will huh?

nnnnnnnnnnnnn

if 20 asks 3 out how will you react? [erica and aini]

shrugs. okay. whatever floats your boat man. as long as you don't come on to ME erica, i'm fine with it.

nnnnnnnnnnnn

1 hates you more than you love him/her. whatever will you do? [jackie]

oh gee, THANKS jackie. pfft.

nnnnnnnnnnnn

7, 10, 9 smokes. how will you react? [helmi, milo and luke]

assuming milo smokes [he looks like one], they all do already. such a pointless question. i think it's inevitable for guys to smoke at least once in their lives.

nnnnnnnnnnnnn

you saw 4 and 6 holding hands. what will you do? [shidah and yan]

TEEHEE. giggle giggle. snort.

psst. yan's gay.

[if you kill me, yan i'll haunt you and drive you to suicide]

nnnnnnnnnnnn

12 & 17 talked on the phone for the entire day. what's your reaction? [nad and greg]

my sister and the king of all blur sotongs? wow. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE WORLD??

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

11 & 16 fought over 18. would you help? [hayden, hao yi and adam my love]

EXCUSE ME. move, bitches! adam's MINE. and hao yi, i always had this sneaking suspicion that you swung both ways.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnn

does 15 take drugs? [danial]

DO YOU, dan? you look like you do. you do, don't you??? so THAT'S how you lost so much weight huh? aiyoo. bilang mak.

nnnnnnnnnnnnn

describe 14. [dean]

squee! dean winchester is my ideal soulmate. hot, sarcastic and funny.

nnnnnnnnnnnn

8 & 13 went on a date. would you tag along? [taufik and sammy]

please. stop. taking. those. drugs.

nnnnnnnnnnn

who is the closest to you?

ohhh adam my loveeee. BIG GRIN.

nnnnnnnnnnn

what would you do if 4 tried to breakup the relationship between you and your boyfriend? [shidah]

damn you shidah!! WILL EVERYONE STOP TRYING TO TAKE ADAM AWAY FROM ME ALREADY?? go get your own boyfriend pleaseee.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

if 5 asks 15 out on a date what would you say? [aaqilah and dan]

two of my close friends going out together? why not?

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

what would you do if 10 confesses he/she likes you? [milo]

LET'S SET THE WEDDING DATE ALREADY.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnn

who is 13 to you? [sammy]

only the sweetest guy ever.

if he existed i mean.

but hey, a girl can dream can't she?

nnnnnnnnnnnnnn

are 12, 19 or 10 attached? [nadia, imah, milo]

no comment. one's heartbroken, one talks to exactly zero guys and one is attached to moi.

nnnnnnnnnnnnn

what is 6's fav number? [sufyan]

69.

and i am NOT being dirty minded. he said so himself.

good lord, i have such nice, pure and innocent minded friends.

stress lah babi

2007-06-27T15:21:00.000+08:00

the stress level is kicking now. malay oral next thursday. SHIT like omg.

math mock tests are starting tomorrow. FUCK like omg.

geography test tomorrow of which i am sure i'll get a just pass yet again.

math paper 2 exam on the same day as malay oral. WHAT. THE. HELL.

prelims in a month [or less. depends on how you look at it.]

o levels in two.

nnnnnnnnnn

i am never gonna make it to JC and i hate that.

it's like when rory gilmore got shot down by logan's dad. [gotta love gilmore girls.]

my dreams have been crushed into a ball of paper, thrown onto the floor, stomped on and burnt to ashes.

not a very good feeling.

nnnnnnnnnn

nnnnnnnnnnnn

i think diyanah from sec 2 is a bitch. spread the word people.

hah. there's no real need to, actually. i think pretty much half the school hate her already.

minus that one freakishly skinny japanese friend of hers.

must be a japanese thing.

they probably have a high tolerance for merepeknakmampos-ness.

and i never knew isa was a flirt cause he looks like a total gentleman.

goes to show how looks can decieve huh.

nnnnnnnnnnnn

azureen pointed diyanah [the slut] her middle finger.

oh i can do soooo much more.

don't worry imah. we all got your back (;

nnnnnnnnnnnn

i have to go study for geog now.

how fun!!!

2007-06-25T17:56:00.000+08:00

jackie's baby cousin is damn CUTEEE!! he's like so chubby and he has brown (!!) hair and he is so totally gonna be a heartthrob when he grows up.

and then he'll pretend to fake cry - there're no tears he just wails - for three seconds, stop, look inquisitively at you and then start fake crying again.

nnnnnnnnnnnnn

but he almost puked on me.

ew.

yeah, babies are cute but i sure as hell am not having one anytime soon. so much work, man.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

after jac's house, went to meet up with the fuglifiers [helmi's words, not mine] at causeway point. the good thing about guys is that they [almost] always have money and so i don't have to fork out a cent if i wanted say, an orange julius. damn fun ah spending others money.

it's real easy too.

like just now they asked me to go out on sat to watch transformers and i all i had to say was "i don't think i'm going. i'm totally broke" and they all go "never mind ah. we'll pay for you. just follow. it won't be fun if you're not there"

AWWWW look at that.

my boys love me so much.

except yan. HE just went "don't spoil her lah. later she'll treat you guys like slaves like how she constantly treats me"

A BIG FAT WHATEVER TO YOU, YAN. he's just jealous cause no one would ever bother to pay for him.

so yay. i'm watching transformers this sat. whee (:

nnnnnnnnnnnnn

by the way has anyone else besides jac, greg and i noticed that hao yi has a frikking weird face. okay, not exactly his face. more like his expressions.

me and greg were just observing him in class today and every five seconds we just burst out laughingbecasue it's HILARIOUS. even when he's just thinking, his face contorts into this sneer and his upper lip curls up like some kind of weird fuck.

nnnnnnnnnnnn

HAHAHAHAH okay i can't stop laughing. take my word, people.

just sit down and observe him for a while. you'll see what i mean.

nnnnnnnnnnnn

and ohmygod. i can't believe you guys read my notebook. have you never heard of this word called PRIVACY?? do you NOT know that the most irritaing thing you can do to a girl is going thrugh her stuff without permission???

thank god there wasn't anything personal in it. i would've kicked both of your butts to hell.

nnnnnnnnnnnnn

pfft. okay gotta go study for ss test.

bye byatchs.

2007-06-22T16:11:00.000+08:00

i'm baaaaack (: nnnnnnnnnnnnnnn hadn't met up with cik orchid's [yes, that's her name. very cool.] family for a long while so it was great to finally meet up with the kiddies. and ameerul is the cutest, sweetest little boy ever EVER i'm telling you. i drew him an astronaut and a rocket with his name on it and he told me he'd hang it up on his wall. awwww *pinches cheeks* nnnnnnnnn and for once, i actually ATE the bbq food even though we all know i don't eat them a lot [the black icky burnt parts turn me off]. it was THAT good. god, i LOVEEEEE roasted marshmallows. crispy on the outside and gooey on the inside. nnnnnnnnnnnn meh. more elaboration tomorrow eh? GIRLS DAY OUT. wheee (: i miss siti the sepet chicken pox girl a lot!!! nnnnnnnnnnnnnnn because i was bored:

You Are Very Happy Being Single

You're not anti-relationship. You just don't need one to be content. You find plenty of happiness from your life as it is. And if you find someone you love, then that's just icing on an already decadent cake!

Are You Happy Being Single?

single and happy with it(: pfft. boys are overrated. nnnnnnnnnnnnn

What People Think of Your Mouth

People see you as both demanding and irresistible. You are often the center of attention - and that's how you like it. You are up for anything and very energetic. People sometimes propose wild ideas to you. And who knows? Maybe you'll take them up on it. You are known to be a little freaky!

What Does Your Mouth Say About You? nnnnnnnnnnnnnn LOLLLL. wtff. i think only the part about how i'm a bit freaky is accurate. nnnnnnnnnnnnn

You Are 30% Weird

Not enough to scare other people... But sometimes you scare yourself.

How Weird Are You?

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn wow. this is surprising. i was expecting somethign along the lines of "YOU"RE SUCH A WEIRDO!!!" nnnnnnnnnnnnnn

Your Blogging Type Is Clever and Witty

Of all blogging types, you're the best with words. Almost every blog post you write has legendary quality. You have a perverse sense of humor and often play devil's advocate. Impatient and picky, you tend to go off on funny rants from time to time.

What's Your Blogging Personality?

nnnnnnnnnnnnn this is true. [modest, i am] nnnnnnnnnnnnnn

You Are 40% Boyish and 60% Girlish

You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch. Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes. You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them. You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.

How Boyish or Girlish Are You?

nnnnnnnnnnnnn this is true, too. nnnnnnnnnnnnn

Your Five Variable Love Profile

Propensity for Monogamy: Your propensity for monogamy is medium. In general, you prefer to have only one love interest. But it's hard for you to stay devoted for too long! There's too much eye candy to keep you from wandering. Experience Level: Your experience level is medium. You probably have had a couple significant loves. And you may have even had your heart broken. But you haven't really dated a wide variety of people. Dominance: Your dominance is medium. You tend to be the one with more power. You aren't a total control freak in relationships.. But of course you don't mind getting you way! Cynicism: Your cynicism is high. Sure you believe in love, but you know it doesn't come easily. You scoff at "love at first site" and "soumates." You rather take the real thing, as unglamorous as it is. Independence: Your independence is high. You don't need to be in love, and sometimes you don't even want love. Having your own life is very important for you... Even more important than having a relationship.

The Five Variable Love Test

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnn i definitely agree with this one. lol.

2007-06-20T14:04:00.000+08:00

up up and away i go.

for three days anyway.

don't miss me too much eh?

2007-06-19T17:31:00.000+08:00

i had the weirdest dream yesterday.

okay, so i'm at the fountain place at bugis junction there [i know. random much? haven't been there for eons] and then there's virtually no one there at all. i'm just sitting down watching the fountain and well, truth be told i LOVED it. very peaceful.

i don't think i'd feel all that distressed if i was the last person on the planet.

anyway. i'm just sitting there and the sun is shining and i'm like all hippie girl [LOL] but then suddenly someone taps me on the shoulder. so i turn around.

nnnnnnnn

it was michael jackson.

and get this. he was A ROBOT.

nnnnnnnnn

WTFFFF.

nnnnnnnnnn

it was the single most creepiest thing ever lahhh.

nnnnnnnn

and then, suddenly everything's on fire and i'm trapped with michael jackson the robot and ohmygsh his face WAS MELTING. [although i think this kinda does happen to him sometimes in real life]

ewwwww.

just picture jared padalecki in the house of wax.

totally creepy.

and THEN JANET JACKSON appears through the fire and i'm like WHAAAAT??? because her face is normal [well, as normal as janet jackson can get anyway] but her body was like THE TRANSFORMERS.

okay, i didn't realize i wanted to watch the transformers movie THIS BADLY.

and then she turns into a car and she screams [yeha her head is still there. go figure] "get your hands off my brother you bitch!!"

and i'm still like WHAAAAT???

nnnnnnnnnnnnn

and the next thing i knew she was in human form and standing in front of me with a butcher knife.

and then i woke up.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnn

ahh. story of my dreams.

nnnnnnnnnn

anyway, i've been pretty much spending all my time with yan and his friends [luqman, taufiq and helmi] these days.

it's a bit weird to have four guys constantly surrounding you because seriously speaking, hormones go on overdrive, man.

that and when we go out, most girls will stare at me like i'm some sort of slut.

yeah. very uncomfortable.

nnnnnnnnnnnnn

yesterday was town-ing with the lot.

pizza with m&ms, jiwang songs-singing, skateboards with pink (!!) ribbons [LOL tauf!!], party poppers, mcdonalds ballons, scaring kiddies with pontianak laughter and singing the theme song of spongebob squarepants at the top of our lungs at suicide valley.

add all that to a "who's more sarcastic?" contest and a bunch of burping, thick-skinned teenage boys and you get one full day of extreme hilarity.

very fun.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnn

and on sunday, went out with jackie to go collect her video ipod thing and to do a little bit of shopping.

i am so UN- surprised at the news jackie. EVERYONE saw it coming.

ev-uh-ri-wan.

he's a big fat tub of annoyance but whatever floats your boat, man.

and frankly speaking, the guy you bought it from was kinda cute. hahahahah.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

and i just got back from luqman's house with yan. oh god. i am already considered "one of the guys" according to him. very nice.

i'm not a girl anymore. i'm "one of the frikking guys".

ah there goes my chances.

PFFT.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

and HELMI.

don't think i've forgotten ah.

ohh boy.

YOU ARE SO GONNA GET IT FROM ME.

2007-06-16T23:43:00.000+08:00

i re-read yesterday's post and i have come to a conclusion.

i am such a GIRL.

omgsh. i mean, i've spent three quarters of my life trying to convince people that i am, infact, not a girly girl and am an independent, strong and intellectual person with a unique sense of -albeit dry - humour.

and then i went and typed yesterday's bimbotic post and totally defeated the purpose of this whole image that i've strived to achieve.

derr i'm sucha loser.

meh. whatever.

i've never really been demure but then again i'm not like a total tomboy or anything. i repel sports -ANY sport whatsoever- unless you count sarcasm a sport. i love clothes. i COVET shoes. and i like boys.

soo there.

the staggering secrets about nurhani rosli revealed. stop the presses. call the media.

the world's gonna end. woot.

nnnnnnn

yes, i had a purpose when i first started this post and now i've once again revealed my talent in digressing so, let's get to the point.

nnnnnnnnnn

SHAHRUL SUFYAN BIN AHMAD IS BAAAAACK ((((:

OMGGG I MISSED YOU SO MUCH :D

nnnnnnnnn

so i went over cause ayu called and said she needed to passs me some of my dvds that yan borrowed a while back so i went and then when i rang the doorbell this guy opened the door and he was wearing this scream mask thing and i totally SCREAMED my lungs out, seriously, the next door neighbour's dog started barking like he had rabies ew.

er yeah. and the guy took off the mask and it was - although not at that time - painfully obvious that it was yan.

i was so surprised i stood there for like a minute with my mouth hanging open and then i started laughing hysterically for yet another minute [as i always do when i'm relieved or surprised. yeah, remember the birthday bash last year guys? it's just how i react when i'm shocked. weird but unfortunately true] AND THEN i started hitting him.

nnnnnnnnn

like, really hard.

nnnnnnn

i'm sorry about that.

nnnnnnnnnn

anyway, yeah. went to the beach to celebrate and then walked all the way from causeway point to home, talking about useless crap that i don't usually tell anyone except jac and my sister.

just like old times.

nnnnnnnnn

so, yes. i'm in a very good mood today hokay.

and tomorrow i'm going out with jackie and then i've got the bbq thing and then there's the chalet on wednesday.

errr i really need to make time to study for ss and geog.

shit.

now that's raining on my parade.

2007-06-15T22:24:00.000+08:00

[previous post continued cause my fingers are itchy and i need rehab for addiction to blogging]

[i would also like to warn you that this post is totally fangirl and if you aren't interested in boys go away before it's too late]

nnnnnnnnnn

-fangirl moment-

OMGGGG IRWANSYAH IS LIKE SO HOTT WHATTHEFUCK HOW IS IT EVEN LEGAL TO BE THIS CUTE PLEASE WAIT WHILE I HYPERVENTILATE OVER THIS HOT MAN MEAT OHMYGOSH SWOON.

nnnnnnnnnn

okay. it's safe to come out now.

sorry.

sigh. if more men in singapore looked like him i bet i'd totally fall in love more often. go get plastic surgery, boys.

nnnnnnnnnnnnn

EEEE MAWI WON?? how did this arrogant baldie get all his votes?? i bet it's from all those makciks with nothing better to do at home and so they decide to vote for mawi because they secretly want him to be king of the world and would leave all their berlapok husbands in a heartbeat for mr mawi-i'm-so-cool-wearing-my-shades-even-though-i'm-indoors.

nnnnnnnnnnn

ah. award shows never fail to bring out the whiny fangirl bitch in me.

lol this is the most malay i've felt in a long time.

i know it sounds weird but i feel as though i'm really too westernised already. i need some malay instilled in me once in a while you know.

nnnnnnnn

oh lookee hady mirza is performing yay. his voice is just too much for my swooning heart to handle.

i might get heart attack from all this goodness.

nnnnnnnn

imagine if i were to be stuck in a room filled with, say, jensen ackles, chris evans, josh hartnett, irwansyah, adam brody and heck let's even throw in enrique iglesias [i'm an unabashed fan. it's totally tween-y but he really make sme go like whoa].

i swear i'd swoon and hyperventialte and squeal and kiss all of them before i die from heart attack cause my poor heart would collapse under all the hotness.

by now all of you should know how boy crazy i am aye?

as in boys make me go crazy.

which isn't a good thing sometimes.

nnnnnnnnnnn

ahh. my mom would be so proud of me.

and the issue of the puke is making me nauseous too.

ickh.

2007-06-15T20:44:00.000+08:00

hello.

am now watching anugerah planet muzik. and i'm so extremely out of the loop when it comes to malay music, i know absolutely nobody except taufik and hady. LOL. okay, kidding. of course i know SOME lah.

these sleeq people are hot man. love the guy's voice. though the name of the group is a bit of a turn off.

and imran ajmain's voice! ahahahahahahahahah. ohh LOLLL. er.. is it just me or is he singing through his nose? he sounds like a whining cat about to die. somebody save my ears please.

i mean he sounds okay in the recording and i like the song i guess but, dude, some free advice, don't sing live please.

hahahahahah. tak leh angkat sak.

okay anyway, went to watch fantastic four just now. aaaah NICEEEEEE ((:

ohmygod. chris evans? one word.

HOOOOOTTTTT.

utterly, beyond wild kinda hot. fans self.

whew.

nnnnnnnnnn

ohh loook. taufik won yet again. isn't there anyone out there who's brave enough to face supremeley cute taufik??

okay, let's see if he wins the next award again.

nnnnnnnnnnn

the whiny cat won. wow. will wonders never cease?

eh he looks like ken ah??? right? right???

seriously. is that like his twin in another dimension?

nnnnnnnnnnnn

okay i think i'm na go now. my brother just puked on the couch.

nnnnnnnnnn

ew.

2007-06-14T14:42:00.000+08:00

ahh fuckkkk. i accidentally deleted all my links and now i've to hunt them all down over again so i'm sorry if i forgot to link you.

oh sammy is co effing cute and dean's such a perfect soulmate for me.

you don't know what i'm talking about. whatever.

nnnnnnnnnn

i just realized how big my eight year old brother is when he sat down on me [while trying to wrestle the remote out of my hand] and nearly crushed me with his weight. god. how the hell did this ball of flab get so fat?

i remember when he used be just this small little cute thing with curly brown hair and that fair, pakistani skin that i have no idea where he got. and back then he used to get so excited when i got home from school and then made me play hide and seek with him.

and now all i get from his is a 'you are such a freak' in that stupid fake american slang of his.

he still adores me you see.

pfft. they grow so fast.

bbbbbbbbbbb

i gotta study for geog now. peace out yo.

2007-06-13T19:57:00.000+08:00

so today i watched pirates of the caribbean for the second time and i am very very happy so shut up.

and no, i'm not obssessed with johnny depp to the point that i kiss his photo before i go to sleep every night hoping that i might dream about him.

who me??

pfft. of course not.

oh and i watched shrek 3 too. bleah. boring much?

for all you shrek fans out there, i mean no harm. please don't shoot me [cowers]

i mean, yeah it was kinda okay-ish but where was the charm and wit from the first two movies?? and to make things worse, i guess the sound system crashed or something in the middle of the movie and made everything just sounded robotic. me and the little monster were like laughing and laughing because justin timberlake sounded like a little girl even though his voice was robotic and the woman beside me got irritated and gave me a dirty look and then got up to sit in front.

pouts. ohhhh i'm so hurt. you broke my heart, lady.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

so anyhoo, for those who care, i'm sorry for my absence in school for the past two days. overslept on tuesday and errr wasn't really in the mood today.

DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT AQILAH. ohh you think i don't know what goes on in that twisted mind of yours huh? well, you've been deceived.

i know EVERYTHING. mwahahahahah.

okay. sorry.

it's only chemistry practical anyway.

by the way does anyone know how long ms chow's staying? i don't want her to ever go lahhhh. cause when she does we're stuck again with that idiotic balding mushroom head.

seriously. she needs to go pay a visit to yun nam haircare. i mean, balding in your twenties??!!

that's musn't be a good sign.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

heroes just finished. an awesome episode as per usual. i laaahve that show.

hayden panettiere should really return back to her brunette roots. she looks gorgeous as a brunette.

ergh. she's gorgeous no matter what anyway. i am infinitely jealous. rawr.

and milo vintimiglia's hair reminds me of his jesse days on gilmore girls. ahh those were the days.

oh wow. i just realized that a lot of hot actors came from gilmore girls.

adam brody, jared padelecki, milo vintimiglia and now, matt czuchry. the casting directors at gilmore girls have an eye for budding talent i see. LOL.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnn

nnnnnnnnnnnn

and now, because i'm bored:

list of tv shows that are worth watching [in no particualr order]. take it from the tv queen aka moi.

nnnnnnnnnnnn

1. grey's anatomy. seriously.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnn

2. veronica mars

nnnnnnnnnnnnn

3. supernatural. hottness at it's extreme, people.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnn

4. heroes

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

5. gilmore girls

nnnnnnnnnnnnn

6. that 70's show. funny shit.

nnnnnnnnnnnn

7. scrubs

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

8. desperate housewives even though it's, in my opinion, highly overrated but whatever. it's good for the gossip hungry soul.

nnnnnnnnnnnnn

9. ugly betty.

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10. and, against my better judgement, The O.C. i know, i know. but i just can't bear to betray my beloved seth cohen.

2007-06-11T18:53:00.000+08:00

heyy earthlings. so went to follow jac get her tattoo just now.

i'm too lazy to post soo just see the pretty tat eh?

i think it's damn nice lah.

and yeah, yeah jackie didn't even freak out though she was grabbing my hand the whole way and kinda numbed it a bit. LOL.

nnnnnnnnnnn

2007-06-10T22:07:00.000+08:00

so over the weekends i've been lazing around watching the whole of supernatural season 1 on dvd. i mean, i never used to be that into the show cause mainly i missed a lot of episodes but now i've caught up and supernatural is officially one of my favourite shows after grey's anatomy [LOOVVEEE. sorry. had to add that] and veronica mars.

because, really. HOW can you ignore jensen ackles' and jared padelecki absolute hottness???? well, i'm more inclined to jensen's but whatever. the point is, they have got to be the two most gorgeous ghostbusters i've ever layed my eyes upon.

the winchester boys are just yumm. and that includes john the dad because no matter what, to me, he'll always be denny, mr. i'm-so-sweet-and-i-look-suave-even-though-i'm-bed-ridden-on-grey's-anatomy-and-izzie's-a-bit-psycho.

three quarters of you probably don't know what i'm talking about because i watch waaaay too much tv and i have no life but whatever.

shut up.

i love my tv.

and soon, i'm na get season 2 so yaaayyyee (((:

now if only channel 5 will hurry up and show grey's anatomy season three. rawr.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

anyhoo. tomorrow i'm gonna follow jac to get her tattoo. and if she freaks i will try my best to act supportive and not laugh my ass.

hahahahah.

joke, jackie. i know, i know. you're gonna do it "NO MATTER WHAT"

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nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

drool me some. mmmhmmm.

2007-06-09T21:32:00.000+08:00

hello.

nnnnnnnnnnn

i hate my father. he's a fucking asshole and no, i'm not being childish and unreasonable. i bloody well have my reasons. if you met him, you'd hate him too. in fact, he'd probably leave a real strong impression on you.

and i mean literally.

nnnnnnnnnnnn

so yesterday was the syf showcase thingy at nanyang auditorium. it wasn't great but the important thing is that i had a lot of fun (:

and i swear i miss my clarinet so much. oh AND my section of course. heh heh. [insert sheepish smile]

i know that things were a little disorganized yesterday but well, it takes some getting used to, being band and drum major yeah? you guys'll improve.

the sucky thing is, i'm getting rusty lahhh. for the first time in two years, i was out of breath and my fingers were like kaku and i was totally not in tempo at times.

grr.

well, whatever. as soon as i have enough money i'm buying me my own clarinet. GRIN.

oh yeah. by the way the drama performance was like omgg so nice. they totally deserved their silver. though what is UP with that doctor dude???

the finale was great. HAHAHAHAH jackie cracks me up especially with her croaky voice.

oh yeah. happy birthday louise (((:

hope you like the bra LOL.

okay, and i'm so sorry for the cologne thing wei qing. you just smelt REALLY GOOD and basically i just have err. issues. heh.

so yeah. it was fun yesterday. the talk i had with imah, erica and jac yesterday hurt. a lot. because i realized that i'm playing with fire here you know. he doesn't care.

no matter what anyone says, i know he doesn't care. three years.

nothing's changed people.

nnnnnnnnnnnn

and if this is going to be what happens every time we're in close proximity, i don't think i wanna perform at the end of year concert.

i know i'm totally risking exposing my secret but i just don't care anymore.

nnnnnnnnnnnn

oh my god, there's his eyes again. i turn around and fake indifference then i'll watch his sleek black silhouette disappear. too many bodies fill the club. too many faces over done.

nnnnnnnnnnnn

why am i here? why am i here?

nnnnnnnnnnnn

watch him leave the floor. my body's edging towards the door. i return instead.

i'm not done pretending yet. never done pretending yet.

nnnnnnnnnnn

i'm indifferent, let me go. gonna dance and think of him no more. never, never understand the words i wrote. never mind a heart that's broken right.

he could never be mine.

somehting that i do is fight, fight it. i'm indifferent to you. i've got nothing for you.

nnnnnnnnnnn

he stares at her across the floor. my undressed heart now an open door. he orders drinks, now the scene is falling through. over there, they're not over there. once empty corner filled with her.

nnnnnnnnnnnn

why am i here? why am i here?

nnnnnnnnnn

i'm indifferent to you. i've got nothing for you.

2007-06-07T20:08:00.001+08:00

this post is gonna be weird and random. go someplace else if you wish not to be confused kaythanks.

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hello. i finally have photoshop. GRIN.

went to jurong with imah, erica and jac just now to find an outfit for tomorrow's performance [which reminds me. WHOSE IDEA WAS IT TO WEAR ALL BLACK???? WHOSE loss are we mourning for huh??paris hilton going to jail??? i find that a blessing by the way. she totally deserves it.]

eh i have no class tomorrow so yay me. whoopee(:

i saw a rainbow today. very pretty.

keith should cut his bird's nest hair before a bird REALLY decides to come and inhibit it.

i can't believe i'm not allowed to wear my stilletoes.

i'm very disgusted by s***en. yeucks.

thanks ah jackie and hao yi. between the two of you, you've compiled so many embarrassing moments of me, you can probably write a book about it.

i'm joking. don't.

seriously.

i like drew barrymore in music and lyrics. i COVET her clothes man.

fuck. i still miss sufyan a whole damn lot. and i heard the stepmonster saying she wants to move out. ergh. i fucking abhor her.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

DANIAL. if you don't eat i will honestly tie you up and stuff nasi lemak down your throat okay.

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okay. bye.

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-i'll find mine

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SETH COHEN. one day i will marry you. no, not adam brody. SETH COHEN <3

2007-06-06T01:42:00.000+08:00

don't tell me you're done for.

i don't need to hear you're done for.

you can tell me what you were running from.

i need you more than you need you.

i can see you're really really running.

can i ask where you're gonna run to?

and you think you're really really funny.

well i don't think you're funny as you do.

nnnnnnnnn

we all feel like we're breaking sometimes.

but i won't give you up tonight.

nnnnnnnn

stay awake, stay awake; survive.

cause i've got nineteen stars that i give your name tonight.

and i wanna scream, wanna scream your name.

star light, star bright can save.

you're my wish tonight.

nnnnnnnnnnnn

don't tell me it doesn't matter.

i'll tell you what matters.

bare feet in the summer and open windows at night.

you think that no one needs you.

you have nothing to see through.

well i needed you.

don't i count?

let's fight.

show me anger, fierce fists clutching onto air.

show me anything.

just show me you care.

nnnnnnnnnnnn

no one can catch me the way that you catch me,

the way that you keep me when i'm out of time.

what if i need you?

what i can't see you?

i'm running out of life.

nnnnnnnnnnnn

nnnnnnnnnnnnn

don't give me that same old 'i didn't want to hurt you' excuse. you know damn well that you not telling me to my face hurts me more than you NOT telling me AT ALL. i had to find out from ayu goddamnit. you could've AT LEAST had the courtesy to write a much longer letter thankyouverymuch. "i know you're angry at me right now honeybee but please understand" DOES NOT SOOTHE MY FRAZZLED NERVES. and you didn't even tell sofea??? wtfffff.

right. i know you wanna keep it low profile and all that shit but fucckkkkk. I'M YOUR BEST FRIEND. you should've said goodbye and end my suffering of not knowing about your wellbeing.

you know what? just. call me if and when you can okay. because i fucking miss you.

i know you always say that you love me more than i love you but then again, you're a real good liar too.

2007-06-05T17:42:00.000+08:00

went to queenstown with jackie and aqilah just now to check out the tattoo parlour. it's pretty decent. for a tattoo parlour i mean. and the designs are really nice i like the butterfly jac picked out it's so pretty.

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god, stop worrying people. NO, obviously it's not ME getting the tattoo. jackie's getting one at the back of her shoulder. i guess she's finally going for it after all that talk since hmm.. last year? heh heh.

jackie, this, i'm okay with. the tongue piercing plan? er.. not so much.

so boys and girls, today i found out that most of the people in queenstown are just downright rude and unfriendly. and there are a lot of gatal mats too. yeuck.

well, whatever. anyway we're going again on monday to do the actual thing.

as long as jac doesn't chicken out i mean. hahahah we'll see.

nnnnnnnnnnnnn

i've seriously been thinking about going to poly these days. singapore poly to be exact.

my mom thinks that it'll ruin my life. going to poly i mean.

she was all for it two seconds ago but apparently she's changed her mind YET AGAIN. she's so fucking indecisive. and bi-polar. and contradictory.

grr.

i don't know, these days i'm just too tired to think anymore. sometimes i feel like maybe i should just go with whatever my mom says you know. things'll be so much easier that way.

less confusion.

nnnnnnnnnnnnn

if this were a perfect world, the only feelings people'd have would be happy, mad, and sad. there wouldn't be such things as confusion, feeling nervous, anticipation, ecstatic-ness [not a word, but bear with me here]. there wouldn't be vindictiveness or depression. there wouldn't be cruelty. heartache wouldn't even exist anymore.

huh. wishful thinking much, hani?

well, whatever. nothing's ever perfect is it? least of all this flawed society we live in.

ah well.. might sound cheesy but, that's life i guess.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

i just remembered - today's pete wentz's birthday. hahaha happy birthday mr. dwarf.

anyway i'm going to that english seminar thing with jamuna and aqilah tomorrow. jam's sister is taking us with her car. GRIN.

we're such lazy asses.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

i saw you with her, dear you tried to hide away. she left through the back door. you alwasy had your secret ways.

i acted so serene, i was so drowsy then. my fault, i'm so careless. i gave you one too many pills.

nnnnnnnnnnnn

my oh my, my alibi. restore my fate in these words so clear. my failur dear. lies tucked away in me.

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you want to play this game, i guess i'll play it too. come here baby, i'll show you what this girl can do. a mattress for a coffin suits you very fine. you'll feel me with the others as you're sewn under the seams.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

hell hath no fury like a woman scorned eh?

What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.

2007-06-04T16:57:00.000+08:00

i don't know.

i might be going into depression mood for a while. maybe not outright and obvious to everyone but somehow inside i feel like a little part of me is slowly eating away and leaving behind just this.. empty shell.

i don't know how to feel anymore.

sure i'm not moody and crying and all "god, life sucks i'm na go slit my wrists in the bathtub now kaythanksbye" and of course i'm still my normal laugh-your-heart-out self around everyone. it's like my defense mechanism. it's impossible for me to voice out and act out what i really feel because the bottomline is, 90% of the time, i don't even KNOW what i'm feeling.

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i haven't been raised in a household where saying 'i love you' is an everyday routine or 'how was your day?' conversations ensue daily so i really don't know how to react to touchy-feely.

people've called me unfeeling one too many times already.

i was sent to the school counsellor once in pri.6 [long story that involves broken families and nosey teachers] and she said she found my reaction to the session "extremely surprising".

so i asked her why. she told me that most people would have already been bawling their eyes out by the time the session ended so she was just waiting for me to start crying but the problem was that i just.. i didn't care.

so that was how i ended up with "a tad emotionally unstable" on my permanent record in de la salle primary. i know. not very impressive.

she said i should consider maybe letting my guard down once in a while and let someone in to see "the real me" whatever the hell that means. god, i hated that woman.

i still bear a grudge against her.

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and then last year someone told me i reminded them of cathy ames from 'east of eden' [for the clueless, it's a real good book written by john steinbeck. go read. tugs at your heartstrings, it will.] and i'm like who? and he was like, go read the book and you'll see what i mean.

so i checked out the book and it turns out that cathy ames, in the book is actually this evil woman who had been beaten up and then marries this nice, rich guy and took off with his money, leaving her two children for him to raise on his own and in the end she becomes rich by killing this woman who owned the "most respectable brothel" in town and taking over her business.

and the sad thing is, i really do think i'm a lot like her.

people think they know me just because i'm their friend but they haven't even SEEN the real me. the selfish, mean, rude one that prefers to stay hidden as much as possible.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

and so, to end off this awfully depressing post;

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

his little whispers, "love me, love me". that's all i ask for. "love me, love me". he battered his tiny fists to feel something. wondered what it's like to touch and feel something.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

monster. how should i feel? creatures lie here, looking through the windows.

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that night he caged her. bruised and broke her. he struggled closer then he stole her. violet wrists and then her ankles. silent pain. than he slowly saw their nightmares were his dreams.

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monster. how should i feel? creatures lie here, looking through the windows. i will hear their voices. i'm a glass child. i'm hannah's tears and regrets.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

monster. how should i feel? turn the sheets down. murder ears with pillow lace. there's bathtibs.. full of glowflies. bathe in kerosene. their words tattooed in his veins.

2007-06-02T12:17:00.000+08:00

love is always patient and kind.

it is never jealous.

love is never boastful nor conceited.

it is never rude or selfish.

it does not take offense and it is not resentful.

love takes no pleasure in other people's sins but delights in the truth.

it is always ready to excuse, to trust and to hope,

and to endure whatever comes.

nnnnnnnnnnnnn

kudos to those who knows which movie i took this from.

shane west is fucking hot that's all i can say.

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my right eye has been twitching uncontrollably since yesterday. ergh gross lah.

i don't know why it's doing that. yan says it's stress.

but i've been stressed before it's never happened. i swear if jackie saw this she'd be laughing her ass off. cuz she's that kinda sensitive person you know. LOL.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

so i have to be somewhere now.

my posts are getting shorter and shorter eh?

*shrugs. not in the mood i guess.

catch ya on the flip side. heh heh.

nnnnnnnnnnnnn

-his little whispers; love me, love me

2007-05-31T12:08:00.000+08:00

paramore - never let this go

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i don't know WHAT to think anymore.

god, WHY did you have to do that???

IDIOT.

you'd think you'd know by now that she ALWAYS means what she says.

2007-05-29T21:17:00.000+08:00

kiss yourself goodnight - all american rejects

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY WACKIE JACKIE, BESTFRIENDKU YANG

NNNNNNNNNNNNNN

TERSAYANG :D

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hahah we shall make carla columbus a part of the zoo buds ah? personally, i still think the best name was jack black but.. it's your bunny. hee ((:

4 years of friendship and still going strong eh? LOVE YAAAAA <3

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so we had that poly thingy just now and i went to check out the school of design with aini. i might be in love. IF i do go there i think i'd take the diploma for interior design or graphic design.

i can't imagine being able to just draw everyday. heaven, i'm telling you.

and the sec five peeps crack me up ahhh. effing funny and very enjoyable to be around :D

so anyway i'm real tired now so i think i'll go to sleep.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

b-b-mybaby-bye

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

-everybody's gonna love today

2007-05-28T17:24:00.000+08:00

Mt o level is over. for now at least.

we'll wait for the results to come out? it was fairly okay [which by everyone else's standards means that it was easy]. i was expecting to FAINT at the bina ayat but ohemgee for the first time i totally knew all the words. i swear i was smiling to myself all the way while doing the paper. think i kinda freaked the invigilator out a lil bit.

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was supposed to be let go immediately after our paper at twelve thirty but of course we just HAD TO HAVE a briefing on DSA [ahem nad ahem] so yes, knowing miss i'm-the-most-importanat-person-in-the-schoolthe "briefing" lasted for like ten hours before we were finally let out. i mean, seriously?

majority of the people aren't even INTERESTED in DSA. we're not all talented like nad you know.

i think that woman just likes hearing the sound of her voice. i mean, you look at the word "briefing". isn't it derived from the word "brief"? which technically means short?

there ain't NOTHING short about our so-called briefing just now.

her infamous talks will make us die out of boredom someday, mark my words.

one of these days, there'll come out a headline in the newspaper: "students start killing each other during principal's twelve hour talk"

yeah, and you'll know which school those students came from eh?

nnnnnnnnnnnn

so anyway, after that went out to eat with the usual peeps. they crack me up like WHOA i love them all soso much.

ohohoh! and tomorrow's a special day for someone eh? *wiggles eyebrows.

and we're also going SP after classes. for some reason i'm really excited about that. i'm seriously contemplating going to poly. i don't know.. there's just so many choices.

i don't know. i really don't. i'm one confused girl right now.

decisions, desicions. it fucking sucks.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnn

i had that dream again. abotu the purple dragon. i think it means something i don't know. the part where faruq grabs my hand and tries to feed me to the dragon particularly freaks me out. faruq you hate me that much ah????

nnnnnnnnnnnnn

-i miss erica denise lee lai kah ):

2007-05-26T02:21:00.000+08:00

pirates of the caribbean was like ohemgee.

OHMYGOODDDD!!

it was incredible.

fucking best movie on earth man.

i fell in love with johnny depp over and over again.

it was just so OHMYGOD!!

i am speechless.

go watch it.

seriously.

2007-05-25T20:30:00.000+08:00

you can stand under my umbrella

ella ella

eh eh eh

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

Rofl. i've been singing it all day, annoying the pants off everyone - especially aqilah-lah. heh heh.

can't help it. addictive song.

especially the "ella ella" part.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

so anyway after school today i met up wiith yan and his new girlfriend sofea. hahahahah sufyan and sofea together forever. LMAO. even the names match.

omggg she's effing gorgeous please. i am infinitely jealous beyond hell. and she's nice too. and smart. yeah. one of THOSE people.

everyone knows one right?

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

I sure do. starts with far and ends with hanah. *wiggles eyebrows at ahemahem. you know who you are ah.

but farhanah's minus the "nice" part. oh nononono. definitely minus the "nice".

what's up with that girl anyway? i mean i am sooo over her merepeknakmamposs-ness. like, seriously, contrary to what she believes, i DON'T hate her nor do i constantly gossip about her. i do have a life you know. one that doesn't revolve around her?

i'm just totally indifferent. i can't be bothered with her anymore. but she just can't take a hint.

she calls ME AND JAC a hypocrite???

oh well, THAT'S rich.

pot. kettle. black. HELLOOO. i mean, seriously?

nnnnnnnnnnnnn

hypocrite / noun / [C] - someone who behaves differently than what he/she claims to believe in.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

well, i don't like her.

i certainly don't ACT like i'm head over heels in love with her. so how exactly does that make me a hypocrite? i don't get it. some one needs to get the girl a dictionary.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

ohkay. enough about her. guess what guess what guess what???

I'M WATCHING PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN TODAY!! ahhhhh!! ohhhh!!! yayye!!!

JOHNNY HERE I COME!!! ohh hottness.

i shall faint from the anticipation.

we're catching the midnight show at causeway so while waiting i'm attempting to cram as much malay "ayat berbunga-bunga" into my brain. i think i've memorised the all my notes back to back lah okay.

it's kinda scary. i've never worked this hard in my life. i'm turning into a workaholic.

i actually LIKE working myself this hard. it gives me a sense of saticfaction.

help.

well, i'm not even THINKING about my laptop this whole weekened cause i am literally gonna lock myself in my room and write karangan after karangan until i'm thoroughly satisfied.

so this is the last you're gonna hear from me for two days.

wish me luck for my paper ey people?

cause i'm superrrrr takut.

*bites nails.

2007-05-23T15:00:00.000+08:00

ok, yes yes. i know i was on hiatus. and i DO know what hiatus means thankyouverymuch. so this isn't because i'm some retard who uses words of which the meaning she doesn't know.

but anyway, seeing as i'm home so fucking early today, just let me have fifteen minutes to blog ey?

nnnnnnnnnnnnn

OHMYGOD. my brain is gonna literally explode if i see another fucking malay paper 1 question paper. lordy lord. every time they give out the papers and i have to start writing i just feel like PUKING.

i've been memorising karangan phrases and peribahasas and paintstakingly making sure i check the kamus for each and every word i don't understand. so basically, i've just been checking the dictionary every five seconds cuz i know practically NOTHING goddamnit.

and i've been doing all this till waaay past 2 am and then i have to wake up at 6 and GOD the eyebags are absolutely AWFUL i'm telling you.

rawr.

but i shall persevere. no matter what i won't give in becasue i can ASSURE YOU that if i don't get my A, SOMEBODY will get hurt.

and no, it won't be me.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

anway, prelims are in JULY. which, for the aliens out there incapable of counting, is only A MONTH away.

and i don't even have ONE week of break in june. most days, classes are from eight to five unless we're lucky. so basically, it's just WORSE than a normal school day.

wow. life is such a breeze ain't it?

pfft.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

o levels suck.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

p.s. oh wow. isn't THIS unexpected. WHEN did it start???? i totally didn't notice and we all know how observant i am.

p.p.s omggg congrats yan. you finally got her after three years. power ((:

2007-05-21T18:05:00.000+08:00

am on hiatus, holing self up in room with karangans and peribahasa and shit like that.

will be back in a week.

I WILL GET MY A GODDAMNIT.

wish me luck.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnn

p.s. i miss you lahh jackie. where you been?

2007-05-20T10:30:00.000+08:00

vanessa carlton - san francisco

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

i'm sorry for the lack of updates.

actually i went out skydiving with justin timberlakethree days ago but the plane crashed and we got lost out in the sahara desert and only found our way back home yesterday.

and now justin's outside in the living room watching cartoons. how cute.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

but anyway, i don't know WHY i'm up so early today. i mean, seriously? it's 8 in the am. IT'S SUNDAY. i have NEVER voluntarily been up this early on a SUNDAY MORNING. pfft.

and yesterday i had this dream about sharks and one of the sharks looked like rudy and another one looked like danial and they were trying to bite my leg off goddamnit.

but they didn't succeed because in the end, brendon urie saved me and we lived happily ever after on this beach in hawaii.

so, it actually turned out into a nice dream after all. even though i had to see dan and rudy's fugly face at first but whatever.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

and ohh people, i'm in loveee again. with TWINS no less.

ohemgeee they are so cuteee. but i prefer the older brother cuz he's funnier. aini and siti can share the younger one *snigger. and they actually communicate with each other with "kite, awak". i swear to god, it's the cutest thing ever. *melts.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

oh don't you love the song?? vanessa carlton is a musical prodigy i swear.

okay i'm bored and i wanna go watch the encore of anugerah. bye people.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

-love is dancing on my finger

2007-05-17T21:16:00.000+08:00

I LOVE MY NOTEBOOK IT IS MY MOST PRIZED

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POSSESION :D

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

p.s. shall blog more tomorrow. i'm damn tired.

p.p.s. omggg. the twins are darn cuteeee [hope they don't come across this blog. that'd be a lil embarrassing.]

2007-05-15T19:52:00.000+08:00

i bought a new blank notebook today. so now i'm na go write my fucking brains out just like i always used to.

GOD, i miss writing.

and i miss my clarinet.

which leads me to missing ain, whom i haven't even SEEN since godknowswhen.

and mock tests are such a fuckup why can't we just drop mother tongue????

rawr.

2007-05-14T17:45:00.000+08:00

i can't help it when my heart races everytime your name appears online.

i can't help feeling that maybe someday, in different circumstances, you would've been mine already.

i can't help not talking to you or even so much as looking at you because then i know my heart will ache.

but then again, i can't help but smile and wave like a kid in candy store every time you look my way.

it's just hard.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

and i hate it that i sound like on of those typical teenage girls "in love" going all, "oh i can't live without him i'm so depressed let me go slit my wrists and die now kaythanks bye."

it's horribly, effingly pathetic. and don't you dare tell me otherwise.

cause even i myself know how pathetic it is. i seriously can' stand myself right now.

what the fuck is wrong with me?

i NEVER used to be this way.

i would've NEVER gone all emo and depressed over a FUCKING GUY.

i'm miss independent, miss observation, miss keep-your-fucking-distance remember??

what in fuck's sake happened to me???

and don't you DARE say love cause i personally do not believe in love and this is so NOT love it's not funny because love does not exist when you're sixteen years old.

and the worst part is?

even after everything that's happened, i miss him so goddamned fucking much it literally hurts.

"he's not worth it hani" isn't enough right now. i need substantial proof.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

i'm gonna go find yan now and demand for ben & jerry's ice cream.

at least if i can't have that ass i've still got my best friend to buy me stuff eh yan?

life's a fucking bitch.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

p.s. screw being all lady-like and the no vulgarities policy. rawr.

2007-05-13T16:14:00.000+08:00

hello world. i just finished trying to cram crappy math stuffs into my brain and am now watching extreme makeover: home edition. i laaahve that show. how could you NOT?

all those deserving people getting free stuff and finally looking happy. i mean, some of their stories are really, really sad you know.

the show just gets to me. right here in the heart. *SOBSOB*

and yes, contrary to popular belief, i DO have a heart kaythanks.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

ickkh i'm producing so much mucus, someone could actually drown in this stuff.

and i got my sister sick too. *CACKLES*

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

ANYWAY, to all mothers around the world, HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY((:

i love you mommy!!

they say a mother's love is unconditional. no matter what the one person who'll alwways be by your side is your mom right?

so people, treat your mothers well, eh? these are the women who gave you life.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

yellow butterfly.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

she was just five years old,

a slightly moody day

she couldn't stay away from that river's edge and i,

i turned my back to count all the daffodil seas that surrounded

i close my eyes and then heard the water wake up

and i,

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

i can still hear that scream, it's still lingering

in the air everywhere;

"mother please save me, grab my hand"

i can't, i can't

i can still see that face sink beneath the waves

"baby please, wait for me, give me time, i am here"

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

where did you go?

where'd you go?

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

were the angels that lonely?

couldn't they suffice for anybody else?

can't everybody just lie to me;

"she's home, she's home

crying for me now"

and every night on a monday

i will visit that same spot that i hate

yes, the place that baby loved

and now she can taste it, it took her away

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

it's been five years since then and when it hits september,

i'll feel like i'm dying again

Ian still won't even talk to me, talk to me

isn't this pain, guilt enough?

i can't even look out the window

without seeing refelctions distorted in the sun

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

and the pain hits me like gunshot

and i'm heading on the way to the floor

i hear her name and it kills me,

bottles up, bottles up, bottles up

and i'm trying my best to hurt me

Ian says it's never enough

a razor to the wrist for each unshed tear

cough it up, drink it up, drink it up

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

so i had a coma when i crashed my car in the lake

i saw your face down there and i knew, it was not a mistake

so i went to the doctor

i told him, oh my heart would break if i couldn't see you

he just gave me more pills

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

but i saw you up there

still floating by the river

god, you always loved that river

bet your heaven looks just like it

then i'll like it too, even though it scares me now

but when i'm with you

i'll be just fine, i'll be just fine

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

we can sit, we can talk about,

talk about

butterflies.. butterflies

2007-05-12T21:55:00.000+08:00

oooh. rachael yamagata is absolutely lovelyyy. and she's gorgeous too.

how unfair is that? some people have it all. pssh.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

anyway, went out with jackie, aini, ririn, rudy, zul, ian and haziqah just now to vivo.

ohh rudy i miss you a loooooot!! and ian was acting like such a retard. dude, i think you should take up drama, seriously. it was a very convincing performance. LOL.

yah, and i FINALLY bought my mother's day present. it's this really cool carved-wood jewellery box that looks a bit like a treasure chest.

ah.. i'm na go watch that janice dickinson show now. peace out, yo.

2007-05-11T19:44:00.000+08:00

first it's hot. then it goes cold.

one minute the sun decides to make me melt, the next i'm freezing my butt off in the rain.

the weather's so unpredictable these days. it's global warming, i'm telling you.

wake up, people. we're destroying our environment with all the trees we're cutting, all that paper we refuse to recycle, certain people's ignorance about the release of CFCs in the air. some poeple don't even KNOW how global warming comes about.

can't you see? we're slowly destroying our own planet.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

i'm such a tree-hugger. pfft. hahahah.

but, no seriously. global warming really is a big issue and should be addressed with more precautions than we'r actually doung now. PLUS this weather is doing things to my hair i never imagined my hair could do. sometimes when it's humid it goes a bit frizzy then if it's raining it goes all silky soft and volumised then it becomes totally flat when it's super hot.

i neevr get any good hair days now.

AAAAND the heat is getting to me!! it's putting evil thoughts of cutting my hair into my head. NOOO. no. i shall never give in. i am going to achieve my target of growing my hair longer and then perming it.

and if i'm lucky it'll look like kirsten dunst's hair in spiderman or veronica mars' season 3 hair.

*GRIN*

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

so anyway, i am very proud of myself ohkay. look at my previous blog posts. NO SWEAR WORDS. omg. miracles DO happen.

hahahah it's just that sufyan complains i curse like a MAN. did you see that?? he's comparing me to a MAN. so i shall refrain from using such profanities and act like the lady that i am. *sniggers*

yeah. riiiiight.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

ahh. seems like eons since i've done one so.. here's a stupid quiz i found for you.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

5 INTERESTING FACTS ABOUT YOU

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

1. i'm actually a yellow and purple striped zebra in disguise of a human being

2. i love, am loved and love to be loved. yet, i'm the biggest love cynic ever. go figure.

3. i broke my two first baby teeth when i bit into a really hard plastic apple which i thought was a real fruit. yes, laugh, laugh. i was five.

4. i just watched jangan pandang belakang just now and laughed so hard, my stomach hurt. what can i say? scary movies amuse me so.

5. i stepped on a worm on the way to school in the morning. eeeewww.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

there, was that "interesting" enough?

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

what is your favourite item in your closet?

my dark blue off shoulder, printed dress. oooh lala.

fill in the blank: i can't live without...

food and water. DUH.

what is your favourite gift to give?

the gift of luuurve. *wiggles eyebrows*

if you could max out your credit card at one shop which shop would it be?

topshop. or if i was in new york, barney's. oooh the thought of maxing out a credit card on clothes is giving me goosebumps. sigh. if only...

what one thing should every woman own?

stilletoes. every woman HAS to have stilletoes. i have two. or three. give or take. heh heh.

what inspired you to start this blog?

the fact that my english was deproving..?

if you could be anywhere right now, where would you be?

in disneyland. :D

who is your celebrity style mate?

liv tyler and halle berry. they can do wrong in my eyes (:

do you have any hidden talents?

i'm actually a descendant of mary poppins and i can make people start singing and dancing at the snap of my fingers.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

what to wear: clothes. nobody entertains public nekkid-ness in singapore. it's a big no-no.

what NOT to wear: ok seriously. i can NEVER wear skinny belts. they make my waist look bloated.

what to shoe: did i mention the stilletoes? but only for special occasions, duh. mostly i go with my sneaks and slash or flip flops.

biggest shopping splurge: let's.. not go there eh?

fashion security blanket: skirts. every kind of skirt possible.

favourite historical period: in terms of fashion?? ohhh i love the late fifties through early sixties. like grace kelly in rear window. and i ADORED audrey hepburn in breakfast at tiffany's.

what to see (movie): now? SPIDERMAN 3 !!! go catch it. and soon, pirates of the caribbean eh?

favourite bad movie: DUH. obviously from justin to kelly. classic, man.

what to listen to: meg & dia, rilo kiley, fall out boy.

what to eat: food.

where to eat it: NOT in the toilet.

how do you sign off an email? i WRITE emails?

night owl or morning person? ngiht owl. you DO NOT wanna mess with me in the morning.

worst vice: cursing like a sailor.

most thrilling famous person meeting: one time i call i've-never-met-a-famous-person-before. well, one that's worth mentioning anyway. i don't think wendy aka xiaxue at the food court in bukit timah counts. colour that best represents your personality: fuschia.

latest obsession: headphones. GRIN.

recurring dream: i'm late for an o level exam! MATTTHHH!! and i don't have any pencils or pens!!

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

btw, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MRS CHOO ((:

you will always be remembered as our "corn mother" lahhh. hahahahahah.

loveees <3

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

-she's like so whatever

2007-05-10T19:15:00.000+08:00

ooooh i bought me some new headphones! FINALLY.

after like 6399138719027 years without one. except the thing is, it's exactly the same one as jac's, aini's and aqilah's. LOLLLLLL.

cause it's kinda cheap and i reallyyyyyy don't wanna burn a hole in my POSB card. i'm so scared to go check how much i have left in it now.

hahaha the four of us can totally form a club. we'll call ourselves "the headphones club" and we shall be known as "headphoners".

we cool y'all. f'sho. ROFL.

the rashidah squares will be left out eh?

ahahahahahahahh. okaaaay so i just have to make sure i don't bump into aini or aqilah at the bustop on the way to school.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

hahahah oh ya, i just realized i curse like a sailor so i'll refrain from using any kind of profanities in this entry oksie doks. totally pg 13.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

anyhoo, the bio test just now was like ARGGGGGHHHH!!

lets not talk about it and make my blood pressure shoot through the roof.

maybe i should just give up on JC. i mean, poly isn't bad right? there's so many courses to choose from and just because you're in poly it DEFINITELY doesn't mean you're not as smart as people in JCs.

*SIGH* *DOUBLE SIGH* *TRIPLE SIGH*

ergh i just havveeee to persevere. then we'll see the results and just... go with the flow.

people, pray for me eh?

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

okay, today boys and girls i'd like to talk about this pet peeve of mine that i absolutely CANNOT tahan at all, that is, SPITTING IN PUBLIC.

i mean seriously? HOW INCONSIDERATE CAN YOU BE???? it's effing gross and extremely unhygienic. what?? all of a sudden you're freaking jesus or something and you think your spit is all holy and cleansing?? is that it??

you think people WANT to step on your spit ah?

"oooh! look there's spit on the floor. let's go step on it since out feet are so dirty and we'd like to clean it. how convenient!"

i mean, SERIOUSLY. i know mostly it's dirty old, uneducated ah peks or pakciks who really don't know better.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

but today as i was walking down the overhead bridge with sufyan, this one -fillinblank- JC guy who was walking beside me just all of a sudden whipped around and spat the contents of his mouth out on the floor beside my leg. like, EWWWWWW. WTFFFF.

it was this close to landing on my shoe lahhh. so when he didn't apologize, i went like

"excuse me, in case you didn't realize you almost spat on my SHOE."

[FYI, there was practically no one walking with us that's why i was so forward. if the place was crowded i probably wouldn't have had the guts to say that]

and then he turns around with a 'who me?' face, looks at me as though it was ME who was in wrong and then turns back around like nothing had happened.

OHHH I WAS SO PISSED!!! so i went like all,

"excu-uuse me. i was TALKING to you in case you didn't realize. do you KNOW it's against the law to spit in public??"

[and sufyan was beside me going all "hani just shuddup and go lah. we're late". bloody coward. we have to stand up for our rights, man]

and then the guys finally turns around, nods at me and mumbles "not my fault what" like effing rudely and proceeds to walk again.

BLOODY HELL. i swear to god, if yan hadn't been there, i would've totally ran up to that guy and strangled his skinny ass neck. FUDGESICLES!!!

HOW IS IT NOT YOUR FAULT YOU ASS-HAT??? YOU spit on the floor, YOU have reallyy bad aiming as to where you were going to spit at [i.e. NOT my shoe] and YOU don't even have th courtesy to apologize!

"not my fault" my purple zebra!!

grr. i'm furious, man. at least i know which JC i won't go to.

but anyway, after that yan bought me ice cream and i felt mucho better. *GRIN*

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

p.s. i HEART johnny depp !!!!

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

- you're such a contradiction.

2007-05-09T21:29:00.000+08:00

heydiddlyhoe. i've just finished attempting to cram my brain with bio crap for the (second!!) bio common test. i honestly don't know why it is that bio's so effing special to have two common tests unlike physics and chem. pssh.

ms ellen tan just enjoys torturing us i think. sadistic ass hat.

hahahahah and just now ms ibaidah was talking about how mushroom head is just so damn W-E-I-R-D, it can't be denied.

i really wonder HOW it is that she's got a decent-looking boyfriend. must be some sick love potion or something eh? seriously. she's a bit er.. detached to say the least. like, her brain is detached from her body kinda. heh heh.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

we were watching pirates of the caribbean 2 during english lessons just now. ouh i totally forgot how much i LOOVEEEEE johnny depp. my johnny depp intake has been severely deprived as of late hahah.

okay my head still kinda hurts now boo hoo. so i think i'll just get to sleep. bye loverlies who bother to read my ramblings.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

I AM TOO TIRED TO GO TO YOUR BLOG AND TAG SOO...

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

Amin: all of us have to meet up sometime soon lah okay ((:

Danial: i'm too lazy to go tag on your blog so if you read this - the braces are quite cute ah. jgn kembang eh. hahahah.

Alia: well, your name is uber nice too *GRIN*

Yan: TOMORROW BETTER NOT BE LATE SEH. i'll leave first if you don't show up on time.

2007-05-08T18:48:00.000+08:00

gah. i feel so icky. my nooooose! my throat! MY HEAD!

ouh i can't stand being sick. and it seems like EVERYONE is sick. jac, siti, aini and me all have the fucking flu. shidah just got this real painful-looking eye infection and seva has fever like me also. ergh. what's this??? sick season??

OMGGGG my nose is so itchy! but i can't rub it cause it's effing painful right now like all red and sore. double ick. pfft.

and the worst part is I CAN'T FALL ASLEEP. cause i slept for like 16++ hours straight yesterday and also at night i went to bed quite early. so now my stupid body just won't let me sleep anymore. grr.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

so anyway i accompanied jackie to umi's house just now. gosh, all the memories just came flooding back when we were on the bus going there.

that stupid canal we always went to with rudy, fad and taha [AND ALL THAT MOSQUITOS!], the void deck where we wasted all our time on [pfft], umi's house itself, where we spent 90% of our time. good times, man.

and ohhh i miss khair, nadia and sabrina so muuuch! long time no seeee.

whoa. sometimes i just really really do miss umi a lot )):

but, well. happy thoughts eh? we had loads of good memories.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

&& we had our english common test just now. it was okay i guess. i'm just so irritated by the time limit. grr. i had to write my last point in less than five minutes and i think i kinda screwed that part up a bit.

ah well. what's done is done.

also, our mt o level is at the end of the month. can you feel my excitement dripping off your screeens, people??

pfft.

anyway, why is it SO CEPAT!! i'm so un-ready okaaaaaay. so for the next two weeks we're just gonna have malay paper mock tests for the whole day. boooo ):

my brain already HURTS from reading the 'berita harian' and you want me to do maalay worksheets for the whoel school day???

it's like you're telling me "brain, explode please"

yeesh. yeah whatever.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

and yeah i got the mother's day date wrong i admit it. it's actually on sunday right?

not my fault ah. jackie told me with such gusto and confidence that mother's day's tomorrow. so i was like, er okay.

and went on and told everyone mother's day is on wednesday.

so fine. sorry people.

ya, ya. fine, yan. you win. you're "NEVER wrong bout these kinda things."

whatever lah okay.

but anysways i still don't know what to buy for my mom. I NEED SUGGESTIONS, PEOPLE.

er.. okay i'm gonna ask around and see what others are doing for their mums.

then copy the best idea. hee.

ohohoh!! and by the way, my new mouse changes colour every five seconds you know. how cool is that??? hee (:

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

goodbye earthlings.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

-cause you look so fine and i really wanna make you mine.

2007-05-07T18:22:00.000+08:00

ickh. i am so effing horribly sick and i've been sleeping for like 16 hours straight.

i look like crap. watch out world, rudolf the red nosed reindeer is coming 7 months too early for christmas. well, at leasd the headache's gone.

so yeah, i didn't go to school today.

ergh. WILL SOMEONE OFF THE BLOODY LIGHT?? it's hurting my eyes.

pfft. people in this house have no care or concern for the sick.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

anyways, mother's day is in two days. have you guys decided what to buy for your dear mums yet? i certainly haven't. i used to bake a cake or cookies but the new house hasn't got an oven.

boo.

so i'm forced to spend my money i guess. heh heh.

i was thinking foot massager. it goes for 40 bucks at watsons.

maybe i'll split the costs with my sister?

actually, knowing my sister, she probably only has five dollars left or something.

pfft.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

okay, okay. my head's starting to throb again. oh, wait.

quick shout out to ayu and yan. sorray i couldn't make it yesterday ):

send me pics yeah?

and ya. i was also supposed to meet yan after school today but oh well.

sorry again. heh heh.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

loveees <3

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

-i need you more than you need you

2007-05-05T19:24:00.000+08:00

AMIN! i have been "denied access" to your blog. like, SINCE WHEN was it that you decided your blog would be private?? pfft.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

i just realized that i'm slowly but SURELY getting over this thing. it's not wholly true when they say "absence makes the heart grow fonder".

not true at all.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

give me a month or so. i'll get over your sweetalking arse.

OH! and ayu [yan's sister] has asked me to tag along for her birthday bbq tomorrow.

cool, fool.

whee. yan is gonna introduce me to his uber cute friend who's going too called ian who is very funny, good in english and apparently is very single.

what's better [besides chocolate] than getting to know a cute guy to pick you up from heartbreak?

GRIN. oh WHO CARES if i sound like a desperado right now?

i realise this post is like so pointless but whatever.

2007-05-05T14:55:00.000+08:00

were the angels that lonely?

couldn't they suffice for anybody else?

can't everybody just lie to me:

"she's home, she's home. cryng for me now"

every night on a monday

i will visit that same spot that i hate

yes, the place that baby loved

and now she can tase it, oh it took her away

- meg & dia, yellow butterfly

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

oh, my unabashed love affair with meg & dia shall never cease. the lyrics are genius, the music is just lovely.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

anyway, this one's gonna be short. just HAD to add that spiderman yesterday was AH-MAZING. that last fight scene was so hot.

overall it was like an art masterpiece. the graphics were really good, the storyline wasn't anywhere near 'yawn' zone and acting was played to perfect presicion.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

james franco is so effing hawt. ohmygod. marry me pleeease. i CANNOT believe they made him DIE in the end. oh boo.

topher grace was so great as venom who is superduper scaaaryyy. he should've had more screen time though ):

tobey maguire was the perfect epitome of adorable-geek. the innocence-ness and "oh golly gee" attitude made me melt. AND THE DANCE NUMBER!! ROFLMFAO. cute with a capital C.

kirsten dunst, darling. your voice is okay but it's a bit on the "off" side. take my advice. stick to acting eh? but never mind. you're gorgeous, your HAIR is gorgeous [i want hair like that kaythanks], you looked ohsoverypurrty.

but poor MJ. WHY is she always the victim to whomever it is that spidey is fighting against?? and the bad gys always seem to catch her when she's wearing a skirt/dress. it's an outrage towards her modesty.

and by the way bryce-dallas howard is drop-dead gorgeous. i am infintely jealous.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

so yeah. GO WATCH IT EVERYONE!

it will be worth your money i promise kay.

2007-05-04T16:49:00.000+08:00

i'm reallyyy sorry for the previous post. late night insomnia, emo like crap songs blasting into my ears and overthinking every single little thing kinda does that to me. hey, everyone deals with stress their own way right? some run, some play music, some paint. whatever.

i relief stress by using big words and stringing all the words together in random order so it looks like word vomit. sides, big words make me feel superior and therefore cheer me up like whoa.

yeah, yeah. i sound like an arrogant, conceited cow.

shuddup. it's my thing.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

anyhoo, i finished school super early today. was supposed to have english, lit, social studies AND bio remedial initially but in the end it was all reduced to... nothing.

heh heh. lucky day.

AND for once in my whole entire secondary school life, i was actually EARLY for a normal school day. omggg i reached school at like 7.25 okay. record time man. [FYI: cckss starts at 7.45 so NO i'm not actually late or anything -_-' ]

hahahahah i think it's just gonna be a once in a lifetime thing ah. actually it's just by pure luck that i got to school that early. i was running late [ironic, no?] and was in the gist of brisk walking like a mak nenek to the mrt station went i heard a car horn.

i looked up and i saw my uncle who offered me a ride. ohh thank yoooouuu. if not i'd have been late YET AGAIN and face the wrath of narain the oversized bulldog whom somehow has everyone convinced that he's actually human.

jackie and i know better though.

he's a bulldog!! really! dogs are actually trying to take over our world and narain is just the first of the lot. i mean, REALLY.

don't you see the resemblence between him and a drooling, barking, wild animal??

so, BEWARE poeple. don't say i didn't warn you.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

ohohoh!! and later, i'm na go catch SPIDERMAN 3!! whee. i absolutely do not get why SOME PEOPLE [couchjackiecough] aren't big fans of spiderman.

duuuude, it's spiderman!! need i say more?? seriously. i get excited at just the THOUGHT of seeing topher grace [cutiiieee ((: ] on the big screen. s'about time too.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

AND NO PEOPLE. i'm NOT watching it with yan. i'm going with my family.

why does EVERYONE get this SICK impression that we're 'involved' somehow?? like, ewwww much?? i told yan and he went like, "that is so gross. you're like a sister to me. YUCKS."

my thoughts exactly.

typical. when a guy and a girl are close friends people just assume that they're together somehow. this society is so flawed.

pfft.

ohh lisa loeb is irritating me now.

I REALLY don't feel like listening to a song that goes along the lines of "we could still belong together/ and together is much better"

ok, i'm na go change the song. bluek.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

SONG: meg & dia - nineteen stars

i fall more and more in love with their music everyday <3

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

- I've seen enough now to know that beautiful things don't always stay that way

2007-05-03T19:29:00.000+08:00

I've completely numbed myself towards the atrocity of it all, convinced myself that this equilibrum I've conjured up would be just enough to last me at least through the remaining months ahead. The latent heartbreak is just too much for my body system to handle. It feels like poison coursing through my veins and the worst part is - it fucking hurts. People tell me my lateral thinking is sometimes unorthodox - i honestly can't disagree. More often that not, it scares ME too. nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn You're over it. I repeat this over and over again in my head everyday as a mantra - maybe even my new way of life - so much so that it's embedded into my brain now but somehow, somehow, it still seems like I'm deceiving myself. Like it's just a performance I've put up to say "Look at me world! I'm FINE. Great, really" hoping people actually fall for it. And we all know how great an actor I am right? i bit off more than i could've chewed, i realise that. Just that, unfortunately for me the realisation came THREE YEARS too late. yes, yes, i know what i sound like. "oh woe is me. I'M the only one to have experienced heartbreak. I'M the only one pathetic enough to fall for the un-feeling. I'M the only one on the face of this planet who pines and yearns so much it hurts sometimes." but it's just like that. people are predictable. people are selfish. most of them both at the same time save for the few saints we've still got left out there. and you sure as hell can be reassured that i'm not one of them. nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn I am my own weakness. My weakness is my enemy. My mind betrays me, taunts me with thoughts that kinda go along the lines of "liar, liar, pants on fire". pushing problems to the back of your head can only get you so far. hey, ignorance is bliss as they say. but, like i said, it can only get you so far. mostly, we think, what do we care, anyway. we sit back, enjoy this moment of release from the monstrosity of the situation and wait for it to relapse and one day bite us in the butt. nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn heartbreak. it's a bitch, it's the biggest asshole we'd ever have to face and only the strongest survive. nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn forgive me for this pointless rant and wasting about ten minutes of your life for reading this. mostly, i can deal but on days like this, momentary bouts of relapsing into a meglomaniac bitch and juxtaposing everything just makes me feel a whole lot better. hey, if life is drama, WHO THE HECK wrote my script? nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn -he tastes like you, only sweeter

2007-05-02T19:09:00.000+08:00

we could still belong together - lisa loeb

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oh hello mr blog. nice to see you again.

i see negligence doesn't really agree with you huh?

yeah well, i've been real busy these past few days. grr. mid-terms and all.

you understand right?

like, keith said: STRESS LAH HANI!! howww?

dude good luck with that. fraid i can't do anything much to help you.

look at ME. do i LOOK like i handle stress well to you??

yeah, NO.

so anyway, i'll have a superduper long post now to make up for lost time yeah?

okay, so let me get back into my time machine and rewind all the way back to.. FRIDAY.

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friday.

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we had our last ever band performance at the old folks home.

unfortch, it was only the upper sec performing so i didn't get my last performance with AIN & RACHEL )): [but you guys better like study hard for your exams ah!]

anyhoo, we got lost on our way there. hahah i think the rain and THE COLD [make me freeze much?] totally got to our heads. we went a bit psycho to say the least.

the bus ride was pole-dancing, "are we there yet?", jackie singing in her stupid falsetto, freezing to death, "ARE WE THERE YET????", and mostly "i need to pee! are we there yet?????"

the performance itself was okay but yeah, unresponsive. apparently the elderly aren't really big fans of lauryn hill and shrek.

but yeah, i had fun. "made in singapore" as our last performance piece was definitely a good choice (:

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OHHH BANDEES, I ALREADY MISS YOOOUUUUU!!

i miss keith & louise & calvin & stace & pangwee & weiqing & weizhen & zhangfei & calvin & alltheclarinetists.

zomg, i miss EVERYONE.

and AIIINNN!! oh loverly, i miss you like whoooaaa!

aaand my clarinet!! oh my babyyyyyy! they took away my precious. mannn i seriously YEARN AND PINE for it. ohhh. baby don't worry mommy will come visit as often as she can okay?

after that went to bp with jackie and the home-d

AFTER THAT went to catch the "wild hogs" movie with family.

yeah, my brothers picked. at first i was like "eeewww. WHY this movie???" and all i was doing was checking out that really cute filipino guy who was smiling at me [MELTS] but then the moie startec and ohhh it was so funny! seriously.

who'da thunk?

it really was hilarious. y'all should go check it out.

so yeah, that was friday.

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saturday & sunday

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BUMM-ED.

slept, ate, tv-ed, studied and then slept again.

i know.

i need to get myself a life.

SORRY AINI! i couldn't make it to that outing with rudy, ian and ririn )):

i really do miss you guys.

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monday.

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MOTHER TONGUE MID YEAR.

ohhh god. one word.

ATROCIOUS.

my. malay. sucks.

and i had to write about some sex thing and i couldn't come up with the malay word for condom so you know what i wrote instead??

RUBBER.

no, i'm serious. I WROTE RUBBER.

"mereka harus memakai rubber" !!!!!! WTF RIGHT.

oh gawsh. i pity the person who'd be marking my paper. they'll have to decipher all that bullshit i wrote down. it'd prolly take them like a week.

tell you what cikgu. let's make it easier for all of us and just fail me ah.

pfft.

so after that i was like super excited cause i thought since we're finishing so early for the first time after one thousand years, maybe after school the whole gang would go out and fulfill our best friend quality time that we've been so severely deprived of BUT THEN found out that 4/5 had physics remedial.

OH BOO, MR TAN. let's all throw popcorn at him.

spoil my mood only. so after aini jac and aqilah went for class and siti trailed off with her sinister looking FAQRUQ [hahaahahahahah! tak leh angkat sak] i went home all by my lonely self.

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until yan saved me from my boredom and asked me to come over.

ohh you rock!

and yeah, the incident yan described in the previous post DID happen, unfortunately.

but i'd just like to clear something out. HE was the one who dragged me to go on the ferriswheel when HE knows I'M terrified of heights okay.

and when we went on he was like swinging the thing so effing dangerously i swear i almost died from a heart attack on the spot.

ass.

but then he bought me cotton candy and let me finish the ben & jerry's ice cream so he's forgiven.

for now.

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tuesday.

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MOVIE MARATHON. whee.

first was drumline then king kong then ghost ship then MTV then that cinta cd [ohh! VERY NICE!] then swimfan and then a late night qabil khushry qabil igam.

okay, it started out okay. great actually. funny and romantic and effingly sweet at the same time.

butt then it started to get totally nonsensical.

ergh, too merepek and long for me to type so you go watch it yourself and figure out what i'm babbling about.

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TODAY.

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i get the feeling shidah's irritated by me ):

but then, she's always that way. i give her one day to resist my irresistable charm. GRIN.

I DO NOT WANT TO TALK ABOUT THE MATH COMMONG TEST.

shuddup.

after school went out with jac and erica for LJS. kristy and imah didn't make it. boo ):

but yeah, feel better kays imah. yeah, yeah. missed you. heh heh.

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okay i'll go read now.

adios amigos.

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-build god, then we'll talk.

2007-04-30T16:42:00.000+08:00

good afternoon world. this is sufyan hijacking hani's blog for the day because in her words, "i'm too tired to even type ah. you do it for me," and is now reading her seventeen magazine on my big comfy couch. but she's telling me now that nothing should be written in short form and everything is to be said in proper grammar and correct spelling. she's worse than my english teacher. alah.. she so action right? thinks her english soo damn good. let me tell you something people. MY english is the same standard as hers lah. maybe even better. HA.

ow. okay she just threw her magazine at me. yeah she's so lady-like and demure right?

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sometimes i get the feeling she thinks i'm her servant. making me pay for her stupid cadbury chocolate cravings, carrying thee ginormous amounts of library books she borrows for her and today i have to take her to the stupid ferriswheel at causeway point there even though she KNOWS i'm scared of heights.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. would you like to know what happened to hani while she was on her way home from school today?? yes? of course ah. especially from sufyan the great storyteller, kan?

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okay, so there she was walking home from school when she hears someone calling her name.

"hani! hani!" the person shouts. she looks around. but sees no one. so she continues walking [probably thinking of how sh'es gonna torture me today. ow. she just hit me. damn violent ah this girl] then, she hears it again. except this time, there's two of them. she turns around and sees a group of boys at the bustop. these boys are in woodlands primary school uniform and so she just figures that they were probably her little brothers friends and gives them a friendly smile [yeah as friendly as an alligator smiling to its prey] and she continues walking.

AND THEN.

jengjengjeng.

she hears them call her again. except this time, they go "kakak jambu! kakak jambu! mintak nombor leh? sini ah! mintak nombor!"

which translates to:

"pretty sister! come here! can we have your number?"

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OH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. oh man. if only i were there. i would've given her number to them lah seh. since she keeps on complaining that the only guy who'll love her is me and she really isn't satisfied with just the affections of her ugly toad of a best friend.

HAH! insult me all you want babes. the only guys who'll ask for your number are three years younger than you! HAHAH. pfft. she just threw a pillow at me. oh yeahhh. like THAT'S gonna hurt. tak pakai otak kan?

okok. i have to go now before hani eats up the whole carton of the ben & jerry's ice cream that I JUST BOUGHT WITH MY OWN MONEY. hani says that she'll update later at night or tomorrow morning whenever she feels like it.

[yeah like anyone cares right? hahah.]

2007-04-25T19:59:00.000+08:00

and so today yan came back home.

in one piece, un-drunk and totally sober might i add.

i can't say where he's been.

as FURIOUS as i am with you, i'm just too happy to have you back to yell at you, best friend.

"aww c'mon. it's not like i fucking planned all this and brought fucking my charger along with me too! sorry ah."

ohhh you curse like a sailor.

then,

"i'm sorry lah hani. i know i should've told you. i missed you lah sehhh! nobody around to make me laugh"

proceeds to hug.

yeah, yeah.

feel blessed that your face is too damn cute for me to bash up.

AND you better be grateful i entertained that wicked witch for you, babe.

i was this close to snapping ok.

pfft.

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ohhh people, the band room looks fantastic reallyyyyy.

GRIN.

i liiiiike the yellowwwww.

annndd i dooon't knowwww whyyyy i'mmm talkiiiinggg liiike thisss buuuut it'sss fuuuuunnn.

regan says it enhances the way you feel or some shit like that.

ok, whatever.

moving on.

i can't believe today wass our last band practice ))): uber sad ah.

i loveee the people.

i'm too tired and lazy to think up of any clever lines so i'll go now.

[HANI is cooler than YOU]

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-and it really makes me wonder if i ever gave a fuck about you.

2007-04-24T20:57:00.000+08:00

makes me wonder is still my ear candy as of now.

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so today started out bad, turned worst but then ended up okay because my best friends rock and i love them like a chocolate covered, rainbow sprinkled, whip-creamed shane west.

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woke up with this HEADACHE which was like the MOTHER of all headaches.

ohhhh god it was like someone was clanging the cymbals up there.

but i thought, never mind. chem test today MUST PERSEVERE.

because, really. i'm hardworking like that.

SNIGGER.

uh yeah i didn't fall for that either.

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ANYWAY.

so then i went out of the house and lisa loeb's extremely uplifting we could still belong together [from the legally blonde soundtrack] was playing on my mp3 and i was feeling slightly better BUT THEN just as i was crossing the road, MY MP3 JUST DIED ON ME.

no batteryyyyy. PFFT.

and i was like asjlhdliasiodjninvk.

WTFFFF i just changed the bat yesterday.

but me being the total optimist i am just went, never mind. the day'll get better.

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and so i got on the mrt and miracles of all miracles, i actually got to sit down.

so i was a happy goober for like ONE MILLISECOND UNTIL this one ahpek sat down next to me and my goddd, he smelt like sweaty socks, vomit, beer and fart ALL AT ONCE.

bloody hell.

it took all of my willpower to NOT retch and pinch my nose in front of him okay.

and he looked like he hadn't washed his hair [or what was left of it anyway. i didn't realize the combover was back in fashion] in 1 132 293 712 289 days and it looked like maybe a family [or two] of lice were nesting in that combover of his so i was like leaning AS FAR AWAY as i possibly could praying to myself that whatever creature was lurking in there wouldn't decide to jump on MY head anytime soon.

ergh. stupid ass hat.

EVER HEARD OF A SHOWER??

or maybe even WATER for that matter of fact??!

pfft.

people nowadays.

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so then i reached school and all was fine and dandy UNTIL.

that stupid woman called me during math class.

thankgod i was in the toilet cuz i realized i hadn't put my phone on silent mood.

she said yan had called and said he's coming home tomorrow and then went on about how much trouble he's gonna be in and how he's gonna punish him and told me that if he didn't come home TOMORROW she'll throw him out onto the streets permanently.

motherfucking bitch.

the reason he left in the first place was because of YOU, you crackwhore slut.

and so yan, you BETTER be home when i get back from band tomorrow and then you have some explaining to do asshole.

i mean, of all the times you could've called you chose THREE IN THE MORNING WHEN I WAS SLEEPING????

what's up with that man.

and just.

ergh whatever.

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and then in lit i got so irritated by hao yi cause i was already in a bad mood anyway so i'm sorry that you got the receiving end of my bitch fest, i know you were just trying to cheer me up.

thanks anyway.

and yeaah greg rocks too okay.

just stipoit with those whatshisname jokes before i strangle you, and we're cool. f'sho.

HAHAHAH.

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AND THEN i had my chem test in the afternoon which was basically just one big ball of bullshit written in an a4 paper.

fuck chemistry.

99.9999999 % chance that i'm gonna fail it.

I HATE YOU CHEMISTRY!!

DIEEEE BITCH!

DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!

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so after the test i went with jac, aini, siti and aqilah-lah to have lunch at LJS.

i loveeee you guys okay.

with them, it's always laughing hysterically till my stomach hurts and i can always be myself around them

and i know i can be annoying sometimes - especially during my bitch fest periods - but you guys put up with me and make me feel good((:

kite sayang awak semue banyak-banyak okay.

ok.

my ass off a brother is on my back about getting off the laptop.

so, hani, out.

[LOVE RYAN SEACREST. how could you not?? GRIN]

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-boys like you are overrated so save your breath.

2007-04-23T18:31:00.000+08:00

maroon 5 - makes me wonder. nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn goddamned this song is Addictive. can't stop singing it. OHHMYGOD. hahahahahaha danial has the same personal message as me which is a quote from the song: "give me something to believe in, cause i don't believe in you anymore" meh. what can i say? great minds think alike, right dan? LOL. ok, since i have to go revise for my chem common test right now i'll leave you with the top addictive songs that's playing currently. they're radio-friendly [even though i ahte radio but whatevs. i get the songs on mtv. hahah] so you people should know them. nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn 1. good charlotte - the river nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn 2. give it to me - timbaland feat nelly & justin timberlake nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn 3. girlfriend - avril lavigne [oh come on. you knew this was gonna appear. NO. 1 AVRIL FAN(: ] nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

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i don't get why people don't like her you know.

i LOOOOOVE avril.

have been a fan since i was in pri.5 [before anyone even knew she existed. pfft.] and still am a proud supporter.

okok, wish me luck for my test tomorrow yeah?

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-and it really makes me wonder if i ever gave a fuck about you